Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-07-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In some societies, children are often told that hard work is the key to achieving anything in their life. This essay will discuss the merits as well as the demerits of this trend of giving pupils this message.

There are some benefits of the notion that often argue about if children try hard enough so it is possible to motivate them regarding future goals. To demonstrate it, in this modern era, children are aware that education is not easy whenever it is about competition because they need to develop their cognitive skills in a particular field. For example, businessmen have faced many obstacles in their life but without hard work it may not possible to become successful. Therefore, children should follow the right path and trying their best by facing problems.

However, scholars do not avoid some drawbacks of this trend because they also need consistency with hard work. To explain it, sometime they do not get achievement, even though how much efforts they put in that goal or work. For instance, only workforce is like a weak bridge, for making it strong folks should need patience as well as consistency. As a result, they can achieve every dream in their curriculum. Additionally, they should understand the right path.

To conclude, there are some advantages of this topic like improving cognitive skills, becoming independent, gaining problem solving skills as well as getting confidence for their goals, while pupils should never avoid drawbacks like immense work is not enough because they also need consistency and patience.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the argument regarding 'cognitive skills' is mentioned but not clearly explained or linked back to the prompt effectively. The example of businessmen is relevant but lacks depth. While the position is clear, the supporting points are somewhat repetitive and lack the necessary elaboration to reach a higher band. To improve, ensure that each point is fully explored with clear, logical reasoning and specific examples that directly relate to the impact on children.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organised into clear paragraphs, and there is a logical progression of ideas. Cohesive devices such as 'To demonstrate it', 'However', and 'To conclude' are used to guide the reader. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical or awkward, such as 'There are some benefits of the notion that often argue about if children try hard enough'. Referencing is occasionally unclear, which makes some sentences difficult to follow. Improving the variety and natural flow of linking words would help elevate the coherence of the response.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for a higher band. There is some repetition of basic terms like 'hard work' and 'achieve'. While the student attempts to use some academic vocabulary, such as 'cognitive skills' and 'curriculum', the usage is sometimes slightly off-target or unnatural. For example, 'only workforce is like a weak bridge' is an unclear metaphor. Expanding your range of collocations and using more precise academic vocabulary would significantly improve this score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are frequent grammatical errors, such as 'sometime they do not get achievement' (should be 'sometimes they do not achieve their goals') and 'folks should need patience' (should be 'people need patience'). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are noticeable and occur throughout the text. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement, correct word forms, and ensuring that complex sentences are constructed accurately without losing clarity.

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