Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-07-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Every culture have different rituals or rules according to their tribals, coms, religion, Every culture has its own priorities and different way to teach or learn anything.

In every culture, it shows their pride and represent their own com or religion, every one has a similar way of telling about moral ethics and basic structure we all have to follow.

In every state or country it is taught in school or by their parents that, by working hard u can achieve anything u want and u should give your 100% while doing anything, just do it with hard work, whether it sports, studies or any other profession we always told are to give our best, some movies and documentaries are also real life examples tells us that how hard work pays off at the end such as Bhaag milkha bhaag, Ms Dhoni - the untold story and many other examples.

Disadvantages of giving these messages to children, can be students or people some time take it very seriously and they forget about their life such as being happy or living a life, they just follow a path blindly and rest of things are left behind, and when the plan doesn"t goes as they planned it leads to mental pressure and even sueside can be the end result

At last i would say try hard as much as u can but don"t forget about social life and your envolvement with everyone, just work hard and chase your dreams with hardwork a

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both advantages and disadvantages. However, the development is quite limited. The introduction is largely irrelevant, focusing on cultural rituals rather than the specific topic of children's upbringing. The advantages are mentioned briefly through the lens of hard work and examples from films, but the explanation lacks depth. The disadvantages are touched upon, specifically mental health and pressure, but the argument is underdeveloped. To improve, you should focus on providing clear, distinct paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, ensuring each point is supported by a logical explanation or example that directly relates to the prompt's core question.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay lacks a clear structure. The paragraphs are poorly defined, and the transition between the introduction and the body is abrupt. There is a lack of cohesive devices to link ideas; for instance, the transition between the discussion of movies and the disadvantages is very sudden. The use of 'At last i would say' is informal and does not effectively signal a conclusion. To improve, use clear topic sentences for each paragraph and employ linking words such as 'furthermore', 'conversely', 'consequently', and 'in addition' to guide the reader through your argument logically.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is basic and repetitive. There are several informal choices, such as 'u' instead of 'you', and non-standard terms like 'tribals' and 'coms'. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to express complex ideas clearly. There are also errors in word formation and collocation, such as 'envolvement' instead of 'involvement'. To reach a higher band, you must avoid abbreviations, use a wider range of academic vocabulary, and ensure that words are used in their correct context. Focus on learning synonyms for common words to avoid repetition.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'Every culture have'), run-on sentences, and incorrect punctuation, such as the misuse of commas and the misspelling of 'suicide'. The sentence structures are mostly simple, and attempts at complex sentences are often faulty or lack proper punctuation. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring subjects and verbs agree, and using correct punctuation. Practice writing complex sentences using subordinating conjunctions like 'although', 'because', and 'while' to demonstrate a wider range.

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