Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-07-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Nowadays, children are motivated by their peers, to work hard for achieving success in their life. This essay will discuss about the advantages and disadvantages of giving such motivations to the future generation.

Children are the one on whom the nation's future is totally dependent. Firstly, from a very young age, children should be guided to follow discipline and punctuality and to work hard to achieve any small or big goal, which eventually leads to development of self-confidence, self-discipline, and self-determination. Also, some good habits like reading of books, respecting elders and love for his own country must be in-cultivated, so that they behave in a good manner. For example, Bhagat Singh (Indian freedom-fighter) from childhood was taught about protecting and respecting his motherland by his parents, this thought got deep into his mind and eventually became his motivation to end the British rule, for which, he worked very hard along others to get independent. Today after 105 years since his martyrdom, he is greatly respected and loved by Indians for his unwavering courage and love for the country.

On the other hand, motivating too much causes harm on a young child's mind. Because if he is not able to reach a goal after doing immense hard-work, he becomes demotivated and regrets his whole life and there is a possibility that he will not try to do the task again. And eventually, such de-motivated people do the activities they should not do, like burglary, consuming drugs, kidnapping, non-ethical crimes like hacking, money scams and many more.

In conclusion, guidance should be given wi right time and in correct quantity as it's over-dose which is Over-motivation harms the individual as well as the society.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. The position is clear, and the ideas are relevant. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. The example of Bhagat Singh is quite specific but takes up a significant portion of the second paragraph, which detracts from a more balanced discussion of the general psychological impact of the message. The conclusion is abrupt and contains a fragmented sentence, which limits the depth of the final summary. To improve, ensure that each body paragraph provides a balanced exploration of the topic rather than relying on a single historical anecdote, and ensure the conclusion fully synthesizes the main points.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas from the introduction to the conclusion. Cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'Also', and 'On the other hand' are used to signal shifts in the argument. However, the flow is occasionally hindered by awkward phrasing and mechanical transitions. For instance, the final paragraph is disjointed and contains a sentence fragment ('as it's over-dose which is Over-motivation...'), which disrupts the coherence of the ending. Using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring that sentences are complete and logically connected would improve the overall flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to convey their meaning clearly. There are some attempts at less common vocabulary, such as 'martyrdom' and 'unwavering', which are used appropriately. However, there are also instances of awkward word choices and non-standard collocations, such as 'in-cultivated' instead of 'instilled' or 'cultivated', and 'non-ethical crimes'. The range is sufficient to discuss the topic, but more precise and varied vocabulary would help elevate the response to a higher band. Focusing on natural collocations and avoiding repetitive phrasing will strengthen this area.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, including issues with articles ('the nation's future'), subject-verb agreement, and preposition usage ('harm on a young child's mind'). The final paragraph contains a significant error in sentence structure that impedes clarity. While the writer attempts complex sentences, they are often marred by these persistent errors. To reach a higher band, the writer should focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy and ensuring that complex sentences are constructed with greater precision and fewer errors.

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