Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-07-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

its common in many cultures that children are told that its possible to achieve even an impossible thing if they are determined and work continuously. Its is a basic rule which is being learnt by children in every culture from their olders.

Hard work is key to success. Its not just a quote but a reality check. Anything is possible if someone is determined, passionate and doing practice on daily basis. The best age to teach children such moral values is before 18. Which means they ae not adult yet. Because at that stage they have more learning power, acceptance and able to get new things. Even things are harder and bitter. Once their mind set is developed it can not be changed. its a very famous story that the great invention of telephone and bulb happend after hundred of failed attempts. Which tells that hardwork is key to success.

On the other hand it also has drawbacks as in most of the developong countries children are being learnt about the importance of hard work. They accept it and do it. But never get paid off as their work. As they studied 16 or 18 years of education but didnt get get jobs and even after getting jobs not paid off. When such incidents occur then new generation does not believe on such things. Because they choose short cut as compare to hard work or long time goals.

As a conclusion, it depends on the society that children are going to beleive on such moral values or not. It is the responsibility of every society that these things are not for books. They must be part of society and must be seen.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention the benefits of hard work and the potential disillusionment when efforts do not lead to success, the arguments lack depth and specific examples. The explanation regarding why children should be taught these values before 18 is a bit vague, and the connection between the 'failed attempts' anecdote and the broader societal impact could be more clearly articulated. To reach a higher band, ensure that each point is fully extended with clear reasoning and illustrative examples.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally inaccurate. For instance, the transition 'Which means they ae not adult yet' is a sentence fragment that disrupts the flow. Additionally, the logical progression between sentences is sometimes weak, making the argument feel disjointed. Using a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'consequently', 'furthermore', 'nevertheless') and ensuring that each sentence logically follows the previous one would significantly improve the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. There are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice, such as 'doing practice on daily basis' (should be 'practicing daily') and 'olders' (should be 'elders'). You rely on basic vocabulary and some repetitive structures. To improve, try to incorporate more academic collocations and precise terminology related to the topic, such as 'perseverance', 'intrinsic motivation', or 'socio-economic factors', rather than relying on general terms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the essay, including issues with subject-verb agreement ('children are being learnt'), article usage, and sentence structure. Many sentences are simple or contain fragments, such as 'Which means they ae not adult yet.' Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of apostrophes (e.g., 'its' instead of 'it is'). While the meaning is generally clear, these errors are frequent enough to cause some distraction. Focusing on mastering complex sentence structures and proofreading for basic errors would help improve your score.

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