Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-07-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 7.0)

There is a undeniable fact that Hard work is the key to success and one can achieve any goal in life by dedication and hustle. There are several benefits and drawbacks in support and contrast to this argument that reveals whether this message should be conveyed to kids or not!

The biggest advantage for children knowing the importance of working hard in life is that they understand that nothing comes free in life and one has to work day and night to even fulfil their basic needs. This builds a sense of responsibility in younger minds which helps them to be a better person in their life. Moreover, an article from Canadian research center journal mentioned that the kids who were taught the lessons of grinding hard in their childhood are seen to be smarter and courageous than the ones who were kept protected from the firm reality of life.

On the other hands, there are discussions about the negative effects that this idea can impose on the young minds. It is commonly observed that some kids feel unsafe and pressurized when told to participate in any minor household activity and this can affect their mental development at young age. In addition, discussing the perspective of striving tirelessly and achieving success with child can lower their morale and build a sense of burden which hinders their performance due to the constant fear of failure.

Overall, this essay discusses the pros and cons of kids knowing the importance of hard work to achieve any goal in life. Above all, it is the responsibility of the parents to analyze whether their child is ready or not for any kind of work at any age.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. The position is clear, and the ideas are relevant. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the argument regarding 'mental development' and 'fear of failure' is a strong point but could be expanded with more specific examples or deeper analysis to reach a higher band. The introduction and conclusion are present, but the conclusion is a bit generic and does not fully synthesize the arguments presented in the body paragraphs. Overall, the task is addressed adequately, but more depth in the supporting arguments would improve the score.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.5

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs. There is a progression of ideas from the introduction to the body paragraphs and the conclusion. Cohesive devices such as 'Moreover', 'On the other hands', and 'In addition' are used to link ideas, although some transitions feel slightly mechanical. The referencing is generally clear, though the use of 'the' before 'Canadian research center journal' is slightly awkward. The paragraphing is appropriate, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct aspect of the prompt, which helps the reader follow the argument easily.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task. You use some good collocations like 'fulfil their basic needs' and 'striving tirelessly'. However, there are some minor inaccuracies and informal phrasing, such as 'hustle' and 'grinding hard', which are slightly too colloquial for an academic essay. There are also minor errors like 'a undeniable fact' (should be 'an') and 'at young age' (should be 'at a young age'). To improve, aim for more precise academic vocabulary and ensure articles are used correctly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is always clear, there are several grammatical errors, such as 'There is a undeniable fact' and 'discussing the perspective... with child' (should be 'with a child'). Punctuation is generally fine, but there are occasional slips in article usage and preposition choice. The sentence structures are functional, but there is limited use of more sophisticated, varied complex structures that would be expected at a higher band level. The errors do not impede communication, but they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score.

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