Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-07-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 7.0)

Some parents or guardians like to give the concepts to their children that if they try best and they can obtain anything they wish. This mindset would be beneficial because the children are encouraged to do the best with targets, whereas it may lead to disappointment if they fail to obtain the desired result after working hard.

Some advocates this myth because people can always do better if they have an ambition, especially for younger individuals who do not have previous experience. Moreover, if they have been advised that they can gain whatever they wish to have, it would result in higher motivation. For example, there are many teenagers who achieve top results in international sports events. It is because they are trained at very young aged and being told that they will become the champion. As a result, this strong mindset pushes the athletes beyond their ability that sometimes would help them to break world record.

On the other hand, this thought might cause drawbacks to the youngsters’ mental development. In the circumstances that failure which is out of their expectation following many attempts of trials, the disappointment would be significant. Furthermore, they will lose confidence because of the fulfillment given before the events. For instance, some parents wish their next generation to go to famous universities by telling them to study hard that they must be accepted by the educational institutions. In some cases they cannot get the academic offer after trying hard, it results in paramount upset. Due to the loss of confidence, they may even give up studying.

In conclusion, telling younger people that if they try hard resulting in obtaining everything would be advantageous because it can be as an encouragement or an initiation. However, it has disadvantages if they fail to achieve their targets, it leads to tremendous negative mental impact.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.5

The response addresses all parts of the task, identifying both advantages and disadvantages. The position is clear from the introduction and maintained throughout. Ideas are relevant, such as the motivation provided by high expectations versus the psychological impact of failure. However, some points could be more fully developed; for instance, the example regarding athletes is a bit general, and the link between parental pressure and academic failure could be more nuanced. Overall, the response provides a balanced view that meets the requirements of the prompt effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph has a central theme. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Moreover', 'On the other hand', and 'Furthermore', which help guide the reader. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and there are minor issues with referencing and sentence flow, such as the phrasing 'In the circumstances that failure which is out of their expectation'. Despite these minor lapses, the progression of ideas is clear and easy to follow throughout the text.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task. You use some effective phrases like 'mental development', 'paramount upset', and 'international sports events'. However, there are some awkward collocations and word choices, such as 'give the concepts to their children' instead of 'instill the belief', and 'try best' instead of 'try their best'. While these errors do not impede communication, they prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. Increasing the use of more precise, academic vocabulary would improve the score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'Some advocates this myth' (subject-verb agreement), 'at very young aged' (incorrect adjective form), and 'if they try hard resulting in obtaining' (awkward clause structure). While these errors are noticeable, they rarely impede the reader's understanding of your arguments. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and ensuring that complex sentences are constructed with correct tense and preposition usage.

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