Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-07-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.5)

It is often believe in my cultures and tradition that children are guided that achieving anything in life is possible through hard work. There are some pros and cons of this notion that i will discuss in this essay.

Some believe that hard working is the key to success. If a person wants to achieve goals in his life , he should put all his efforts in making his dreams come through. Children must be taught about how to work hard by encouraging them in their struggles and inputs. Many successful people worked day and night to pursue their career and becoming a wealthy person in the society. For instance, many medical students studied hard for even 18 hours to get admission in medical colleges and afterwards they also worked in long shifts to become a good consultant.

On the other hand, there are some drawbacks to this viewpoint. People who work hard and still would not succeed in their goals become disheartened and frustrated. This would lead to many mental illness such as, anxiety and depression. They don’t considered that along with hard work, luck and smart strategies do matters a lot. People ignores all these conditions and just focus on to work hard. For example, some students just wasted their time in learning wrong lessons and when they sit in exams the paper would turn out to be totally different. This would lead to an utter disappointment.

In conclusion, children must be taught that working hard for success has both positive and negative sides and should not be ignored

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. For example, the argument regarding 'luck and smart strategies' is a good point but lacks depth in its explanation of how this balances the 'hard work' narrative. The conclusion is also quite abrupt and fails to synthesize the main points effectively. To reach a higher band, you should aim to expand on your examples and ensure that your position is clearly maintained throughout the essay with more nuanced reasoning.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas from the introduction to the conclusion. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'On the other hand' and 'For instance' to link ideas. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the final sentence where the connection between the positive/negative sides and the instruction to children is slightly muddled. Improving the variety of linking words would enhance the overall flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the range and precision required for a higher band. There are several instances of awkward phrasing, such as 'It is often believe in my cultures' (should be 'believed') and 'making his dreams come through' (should be 'come true'). You rely on fairly common vocabulary and struggle with collocations. To improve, focus on using more precise academic vocabulary and ensure that word forms are used correctly in context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Examples include 'hard working is the key' (should be 'hard work'), 'They don’t considered' (should be 'don't consider'), and 'People ignores' (should be 'People ignore'). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to lower the score. You should focus on subject-verb agreement and consistent verb tense usage to improve your accuracy.

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