Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-07-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 7.0)

It is very true that in some cultures, children are often guided that they can accomplish anything if they work hard. Although a coin has it two sides so delivering this message to kids have both it's merits and demerits. This essay will discuss both the pros and cons that are associated with this trend.

To begin with the merits, I would address the boost in the confidence for the little ones as since childhood we are taught to dream big from which we could build a bright future, if they are guided and they know that they can attain anything if they work hard this creates sense if confidence and it motivates them to put in more efforts and work hard. Similarly, it helps them to build strong work ethics because they would know that if they want to do something big they must work hard and they'll know that success usually comes from high discipline, commitment and consistency.

On the other hand making minors believe that they could get whatever only if they attempt hard could lead creating unrealistic expectations. The fact that not everyone can become an actor, billionaire or a famous person ,no matter how hard they work and they might end up hurt facing the reality. Furthermore, they also ignores natural ability such as talent, aptitude and individual differences.

Although, encouraging children to work hard is beneficial as it creates resilience and ambition but the should also learn that it depends on several other factors including talent, opportunities and realistic expectations.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. The position is clear throughout, and the ideas are relevant. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the discussion on the disadvantages mentions 'unrealistic expectations' but could be further extended with more specific examples or a deeper analysis of the psychological impact on children. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points, but the overall depth of the argument is more characteristic of a Band 6.5 or 7.0 level. To reach a higher band, ensure that each point is fully explored with more nuanced reasoning.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs. There is a progression of ideas from the introduction to the body paragraphs and the conclusion. Cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'Similarly', and 'On the other hand' are used to link ideas. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical, and there are minor issues with referencing and sentence flow, such as the phrase 'Although a coin has it two sides'. Improving the variety of cohesive devices and ensuring smoother transitions between sentences would elevate the score. Overall, the structure is coherent and easy to follow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express their ideas clearly. There are attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as 'resilience', 'aptitude', and 'commitment'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'guided that they can accomplish' instead of 'taught that they can accomplish' and 'attempt hard' instead of 'work hard'. These errors do not impede communication, but they do limit the precision of the language. Expanding the range of collocations and refining word choices would help in achieving a higher band score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors throughout the text, such as 'delivering this message to kids have both it's merits' (subject-verb agreement and possessive error) and 'they also ignores' (subject-verb agreement). Additionally, punctuation and article usage could be more precise. While the errors do not prevent the reader from understanding the message, they occur frequently enough to impact the overall fluency. Increasing the frequency of error-free complex sentences would significantly improve the score.

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