Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-07-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Many people think children can achieve anything if they try to their best, i totally agree with this statement. I believe children can do anything if thay have proper guidance and

if their parents are supportive.

Guidance is is very important for kids, kids cannot decide what they actually want to do.

If they had proper road map then they could win whatever they want. its a key to advice them they can do anything and give them the attention. For example my nephew really passionate about music as a parent my sister admit him in a music school as a result recently he win national level music contest,we are so proud of him.

Sopportive parents is blessing for kids . If parents understand their kids then their future become bright, however if they wanna archive their goal then they had to become consistent with their mind. For behind every successful kid parents invest their last hope, Parents told them how herd it is for you we know we always behind your back as a result kids fids more confident and motivated with their work . For example every motivated kid do better in their life ,they feel more confident with their parents support . Always confident people succeed their precious goal among of hopeless people.

In conclusion i agree with the people who belive children can achieve anything if thay try hard ,sometimes kid become over confident but its meaningful to tell them thay can fulfil their dreams if they consistent with their work

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing the advantages of the message, but it fails to adequately explore the disadvantages. While you mention that children might become 'over confident' in the conclusion, this is not developed as a distinct disadvantage in the body paragraphs. The ideas are generally relevant, but the development is somewhat superficial. To improve, you should dedicate a specific paragraph to the potential drawbacks of this message, such as the risk of disappointment or the pressure to succeed, ensuring a balanced discussion that fully addresses all parts of the task requirements.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical progression is often hindered by unclear transitions and repetitive sentence structures. While you use some cohesive devices like 'For example' and 'In conclusion', the connections between sentences are sometimes mechanical or confusing, such as in the second paragraph where the link between parental support and the nephew's success is abrupt. The use of referencing is occasionally unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the flow of your argument. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring each paragraph has a clear topic sentence would significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. You rely on basic terms like 'good', 'win', and 'do', and there are several instances of word-choice errors, such as 'admit him in a music school' (should be 'enrolled him') and 'archive their goal' (should be 'achieve'). There are also frequent spelling errors, such as 'thay', 'herd', 'fids', and 'belive'. To reach a higher band, you should focus on using more precise academic vocabulary and ensuring correct spelling and collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('parents is blessing'), incorrect verb tenses ('if they had proper road map then they could win'), and punctuation errors, particularly the misuse of commas and run-on sentences. The frequent errors in basic grammar, such as 'kids cannot decide what they actually want to do' and 'every motivated kid do better', suggest a need for a stronger grasp of fundamental grammatical rules. Focusing on sentence construction and proofreading for basic errors will help improve your score.

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