Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-07-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 7.0)

Children are often encouraged to do hard work to achieve anything in some cultures. There are many advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message. In this essay, I will elaborate the benefits and drawbacks with reasons and examples.

Whenever a child fails at anything they look at their parents to know what to do next and how to cope up with this failure. At that time parent plays an important role in building confidence in their child. A prime example of this could be few years back when my cousin failed her MCAT exam and was very demotivated and thought she could never become a doctor. But her parents encouraged her to try again and do more work hard again and it helped her regaining her confidence. Eventually, next year she passed here exam and today she is a doctor.

There are many benefits of it. First of all, child learn how to deal with failure throughout their life. If they will not learn this eventually, they will relate every failure to their own identity instead of finding their mistakes and working on them. Secondly, encouragement will bring strength of trying again in them and not giving up. It helps to built inner strength which will work as self motivation in the future.

There are some disadvantages too. Firstly, if we encourage child too much, they cannot learn the meaning of acceptance of fate. Sometimes we should let go of few things because they are not made for us and we should try new things to discover our talents. For example, parents keep encouraging a child to try again and again in cricket while their child is good at badminton. Thus, they should tell child to try again and do hard work for few times but after that they should also teach child to let go and try different sport.

In conclusion, I believe that there are more benefits of motivating child to work hard than it's drawbacks. Thus, it is clear that a child should be encouraged to try hard again for few times.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, identifying both advantages and disadvantages. The position is clear throughout, and the ideas are generally well-developed. For instance, the argument regarding resilience and the counter-argument about accepting limitations are relevant and logically supported. However, the development could be more sophisticated; the example of the cousin is a bit anecdotal and informal. To reach a higher band, ensure that the discussion of 'advantages' and 'disadvantages' is balanced and that the analysis moves beyond personal experience to more general, societal implications. Overall, the response is a solid attempt that fulfills the requirements of the task.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.5

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, each with a distinct focus. There is a clear progression of ideas from the introduction to the conclusion. Cohesive devices such as 'First of all,' 'Secondly,' and 'In conclusion' are used effectively to guide the reader. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally repetitive (e.g., the frequent use of 'child' or 'children'). To improve, try to use a wider variety of cohesive markers and ensure that pronouns or synonyms are used more effectively to link sentences within paragraphs, which would improve the flow and reduce the reliance on simple transition words.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to convey their ideas clearly. There are some attempts at less common vocabulary, such as 'demotivated' and 'acceptance of fate.' However, there are instances of awkward phrasing and word choice errors, such as 'cope up with' (should be 'cope with'), 'do more work hard' (should be 'work harder'), and 'regaining her confidence' (should be 'regain her confidence'). These errors do not impede communication but indicate a need for more precise control over collocations and grammatical forms of words to reach a higher band.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is always clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with articles ('the' before 'child'), subject-verb agreement, and verb forms (e.g., 'child learn' instead of 'children learn' or 'a child learns'). There are also minor punctuation and preposition errors, such as 'passed here exam' instead of 'passed her exam.' The range of structures is sufficient, but the frequency of these small errors prevents the writing from being considered highly accurate. Focusing on proofreading for basic grammatical consistency would significantly improve the score.

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