Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-07-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In many different cultures the parents are motivating to the children by suggesting them to work hard to achieve your goal in your life.However, from this message there are some benefits to youngsters like to shape their life and settle in less time as compare to others and the drawbacks are lot of pressure and sometimes leads to health problems.

At first, one of the major advantages by trying hard is that they can build their career in a good way.They plan stratagies and steps to reach their goal in proper structure.In addition, it is followed in their journey.As a result, they make their life better with good position.Another benefit is that they settled in early age and they make their own money.Moreover, they increase their knowledge and boost their annual salary.For example, children are studying in good way through the guidance of parents and they become doctors and engineers in future.This is due to proper structure and also hard working.So,there are well settled in career and finance.

Whereas, one of the main disadvantage for trying hard enough is it includes lot pressure mentally and we need to acquire enough skills and knowledge to achieve thier goal.we involved in work it leads to stress to our mind and in some cases they loose interest on education or work.One more reason is that health issues to children.For instance, if they read overnight it causes severe headache and illness to our body.Furthermore, in some cases leads to viral fever.Consquently, by hard working towards career causes anxiety and illness problems.

In conclusion, by trying hard children can gain knowledge with good position and achieved their goals in younger ages.In contrast, it causes lot of pressure and different health problems which affect our daily routine.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited and repetitive. For example, the argument regarding 'career' and 'money' is mentioned multiple times without significant expansion. The position is clear, but the supporting points lack depth and specific, nuanced examples. To reach a higher band, you should focus on developing each point with more detailed explanations or real-world implications rather than listing several similar benefits or drawbacks in a single paragraph. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points, but the overall task response remains somewhat superficial.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the argument. You use some cohesive devices such as 'In addition', 'Moreover', and 'In contrast'. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly inaccurate, such as 'Whereas' at the start of the third paragraph, which does not flow naturally from the previous paragraph. Additionally, there are issues with referencing; for instance, the pronoun 'they' is used inconsistently, sometimes referring to children and other times to parents or general concepts. Improving the variety and precision of your linking words will help the flow of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. You rely on basic terms like 'good way', 'make their life better', and 'well settled'. There are also some collocation errors, such as 'motivating to the children' (should be 'motivate children') and 'loose interest' (should be 'lose interest'). While the meaning is clear, the lack of more sophisticated or academic vocabulary limits the score. To improve, try to incorporate more precise academic collocations and avoid repetitive phrasing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'parents are motivating', 'there are well settled'), missing articles, and incorrect preposition usage. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with several instances of missing spaces after commas or periods. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for subject-verb agreement would significantly improve your accuracy.

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