Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-07-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

yes, it is very traditional method of inspiring children for working hard for achieving their goals. It's okay to motivate children for doing hard work but this kind of message make them pressurize to do hard work. After all it has some advantages and disadvantages.

While, let we talk about some disadvantages first:-

i)Giving this type of message makes children stressful.

ii)They lean towards only doing hard work rather than doing smart work for achieving their goals.

iii)They forget to enjoy their childhood life.

iv)Sometimes giving this type of messages make children to do undesired steps in life which are very dangerous.

v)Children get bored easily.

Now, if we talk about the Advantages:-

i)If children take this type of messages positively then it is beneficial for his or her carrier goals.

ii) Children learn working hard form their childhood it self.

iii)Make children disciplined,

As, we can see there are disadvantages more than advantages. Which made this message liability for the children. Sometime parents give this type of message to the child to achieve their personal goal but they do not think that what their child want to do in his or her life. we know that 'pressure is privilege' but this type of pressurized message makes pressure a liability for children.

In the end, i want to say all the parents that do not give such kind of message to your child. Rather than that motivate your child to do things they are interested in, Which make you child ambitious and focused towards their life goals.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the topic, but the development is limited. The use of a bulleted list format is inappropriate for an IELTS Academic Task 2 essay, which requires formal, cohesive paragraphs. While the ideas are relevant, they are presented as brief points rather than fully developed arguments. The position is clear, but the lack of depth and the informal structure prevent a higher score. To improve, you should write full, well-developed paragraphs that explain and provide examples for each point, rather than listing them.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay lacks a standard academic structure. The use of bullet points and numbered lists is not acceptable in IELTS writing, as it disrupts the flow and logical progression of the argument. There is a lack of cohesive devices to link sentences and ideas together; instead, the text relies on a mechanical list format. Paragraphing is present but is used in a non-standard way. To improve, you must use transition words (e.g., 'furthermore', 'consequently', 'on the other hand') and write in full, connected sentences within structured paragraphs.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally simple and repetitive. There are several word-choice errors, such as 'carrier goals' (should be 'career goals') and 'make them pressurize' (should be 'put them under pressure'). The range of vocabulary is limited, and there is little attempt to use more sophisticated or academic language. To improve, focus on learning collocations related to education and child development, and ensure you are using words in their correct grammatical form.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'it is very traditional method' (missing article), 'inspiring children for working hard' (incorrect preposition), and 'what their child want to do' (subject-verb agreement error). The sentence structures are mostly simple, with few attempts at complex sentences. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of colons and semicolons. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, subject-verb agreement, and the correct use of articles.

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