Band 7.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 7.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-07-29
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
Student answer (Band 7.5)
In some societies, children are encouraged to believe that they can achieve everything through hard work. While it has several benefits, it also has few drawbacks.
On one hand, telling children that they can achieve their goals by working hard has many positive effects. Children who believes this, can be seen working hard to obtain good result. They tend to develop positive attitude and self discipline. They are also capable of facing any kind of challenges in life, making them less likely to give up from problems. As a result, they become more independent, determined and develop a strong work ethic. For example, a student who struggles in mathematics may improve significantly through regular practice and perseverance.
On the other hand, this can also create a stressful situation for children. This message may create unrealistic expectations. Constantly telling them that they can achieve anything through hard work may put them under excessive pressure. They may feel that they most succeed in every situation and become afraid of making mistakes. This fear of failure can increase anxiety and stress, especially during the important exams or competitions. For instance, a student who studies for many hours every day may feel extremely disappointed and lose confidence if they do not achieve the expected grades despite their hard work.
To sum up, encouraging children to work hard is beneficial because it builds confidence, determination and perseverance. However, they should also be taught that success depends on various factors and that failure is a normal part of learning. Hence, a balanced message can help children achieve their goals without any pressure.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 7.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 8.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 7.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.5 |
| Overall | 7.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.5
The response addresses all parts of the prompt, providing a clear discussion of both the advantages and disadvantages of the stated message. The position is consistent throughout, and the ideas are relevant and supported with logical explanations and examples, such as the student struggling in mathematics. The development is balanced, with each side of the argument receiving sufficient attention. To reach a higher band, the student could further extend the analysis by exploring the long-term psychological impact or societal implications of these messages, rather than focusing primarily on academic performance.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 8.0
The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices such as 'On one hand', 'On the other hand', 'As a result', and 'To sum up' are used effectively to guide the reader through the argument. Paragraphing is used appropriately, with each paragraph focusing on a central theme. The progression of ideas is smooth and easy to follow. To improve, the student could vary the cohesive devices further, as some transitions are quite standard, and ensure that referencing within sentences is always precise.
Lexical Resource — Band 7.0
The vocabulary is generally appropriate and sufficient for the task. The student uses relevant terms like 'perseverance', 'unrealistic expectations', and 'excessive pressure' effectively. However, there are some minor word choice issues, such as 'obtain good result' (should be 'results') and 'give up from problems' (should be 'give up when facing problems'). While the range is adequate to convey meaning clearly, the use of more sophisticated collocations or less common lexical items would elevate the score to a higher band. The vocabulary is functional but lacks a degree of precision and flair.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5
The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is always clear, there are several grammatical errors that persist. For example, 'Children who believes' should be 'Children who believe', and 'they most succeed' should be 'they must succeed'. Additionally, there are minor punctuation and article usage slips. The student shows an ability to use complex structures, but the frequency of these minor errors prevents the writing from being considered error-free. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and modal verb usage would significantly improve the accuracy of the writing.
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