Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-07-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 7.0)

In some parts of the world, children are encouraged to work hard for anything they want to achieve. It has multiple advantages and disadvantages that are discussed in this essay.

To begin with, there are multiple benefits, which are linked to this approach that children can pursue anything and be anyone if they are willing to work for it. One of these advantages is that it makes children confident because they are supported in their reaching their goal. For example, if a child dreams of becoming a scientist and gets well-wishes as well support of people around him, he will become scientist because of the the confidence he got from people around him. Another positive development is discipline that children can learn when they are allowed to pursue their goal. For instance, if a child knows what he wants, he will get disciplined to have that achievement.

On the other side of coin, there are some disadvantages, which are tied to this message. There are some children who remain confused throughout their childhood and they are unaware to take the right decision for themselves. For more clarity, there was case of student in our neighborhood who was encouraged to take medical profession because it was her own wish, but she regretted it later and could not complete her studies because of depression. Another negative side of this approach is the undue risk taken by children to achieve their goal because they are unaware of bodily and moral limits. For example, if a child wants to get first position in exam, he will cheats for it because he does not know that cheating is bad.

To conclude this essay, although there are positive impacts on children lives if they are encouraged in achieving their goal, the risks involved cannot be ignored.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The essay addresses all parts of the prompt, discussing both advantages and disadvantages. The position is clear throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the example of the student who regretted choosing medicine is a bit anecdotal and does not fully explore the broader psychological implications of the 'anything is possible' message. Similarly, the point about cheating is a strong idea but could be explained with more nuance regarding the pressure to succeed. To reach a higher band, ensure that each point is fully extended with more sophisticated reasoning rather than relying on simple, singular examples.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the advantages from the disadvantages. Cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'One of these advantages', and 'On the other side of coin' are used to guide the reader. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the flow between sentences could be smoother. For example, the transition between the idea of discipline and the next point could be more sophisticated. Overall, the progression of ideas is clear and easy to follow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express their ideas clearly. There are some attempts at less common vocabulary, such as 'undue risk' and 'positive developments'. However, there are instances of awkward phrasing or minor collocation errors, such as 'unaware to take the right decision' (should be 'unsure how to make') and 'he will cheats' (grammatical error affecting lexical accuracy). To improve, focus on more precise collocations and avoid repetitive phrasing like 'multiple advantages' and 'multiple benefits' in the same paragraph.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Examples include 'he will become scientist' (missing article), 'the the confidence' (repetition), 'unaware to take' (incorrect preposition/infinitive usage), and 'children lives' (missing possessive apostrophe). The control over complex structures is inconsistent. To achieve a higher band, the writer needs to demonstrate more consistent accuracy in basic grammar, particularly with articles, subject-verb agreement, and possessives, while continuing to integrate complex sentences.

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