Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-07-29
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
Student answer (Band 6.0)
In some culture or society parents often told their children that they can achieve anything if they work hard and put all effort on it. This creates advantages and disadvantages for children life. It depend on how children take it on their mind.
On the one hand, one of the main advantage of motivate children with saying that they can achieve anything if they do hard try for it that In children's study or other activities someone motivate them with that type of word then children do good preparation and focus more on study to achieve success. Another thing is that they feel very confident through this . They have different type of energy.
On the other hand, if parents constantly told their children to do work hard, and push them than it would be create bad image on children mind.
For the success, only hard work is not only important. Financial support, capacity, family support and sometimes luck also play main role for success. For example, if some parents give burden to their children that you have to pass this exam with good score because parents feel burden of society. But it create some time wrong situation. Some children and students do suicide.
In conclusion, parents have to do always motivate their children and they should tell to their children that they stand with them. Don't worry and do enough hard work as they can do. Not to be stressed. And do always support children in every situation and provide all thing which they want.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention motivation and confidence as advantages, and the pressure of societal expectations as a disadvantage, these points are not fully extended or supported with sophisticated reasoning. The conclusion introduces new advice rather than summarizing the main points discussed in the body paragraphs. To improve, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single, well-developed idea with clear examples and a logical link back to the prompt's core question.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate, such as 'Another thing is that' or 'For the success'. There is a lack of sophisticated linking words to connect ideas smoothly between and within sentences. The progression of ideas is sometimes disjointed, particularly in the conclusion, which feels disconnected from the previous arguments. Improving the variety and accuracy of transition signals will help create a more natural flow.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. You rely on basic terms like 'good', 'bad', and 'do hard work'. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'do good preparation' instead of 'prepare effectively' and 'create bad image' instead of 'have a negative impact'. To reach a higher band, focus on using more academic collocations and precise synonyms to express your ideas more effectively.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('parents often told', 'it depend'), missing articles, and awkward phrasing ('if some parents give burden to their children'). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to distract the reader. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, specifically verb tenses and pluralization, before attempting more complex structures.
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