Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-07-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In some nations, youngsters tend to believe what their trusted adult told them, if the children's have enough determination they can accomplish everything they wanted. While there are some benefits to this view, I believe it is not that necessary to give them false hope.

On one hand, kids who are raised in friendly environment that gives them idea of achieving their dreams often makes the children very arrogant, and selfish in a twisted way. Although it leads to them determination on fulfilling their dreams into a reality, like giving up on other things in order to reaching their goal. Based on my experience I had faced a lot of different problems in my life. The right solution for fixing the problems were always made me to lose my closest friends. My parents taught me that, some people can drag you down to their league if they have bad influence on you, if you ever face that kind of person you always have to keep your distant away or cut ties with them to help yourself on achieving your goal in life, you'll slowly and steadily vision that way. My parents teaching made me have a small number of friends that can have a good influence in me.

On the other hand, instead of telling children they can do anything with a willpower, why can't they just help them on their dream with physically not mentally. It would far-off better than giving a delusional speech about getting anywhere in life. Parents should guide their children through thick and thin, children's would feel more connected to their parenting figure even though they might have a slightly little determination compared to speech about faith

In conclusion, the hope that they give to children are can guide to their dream often has a weak spot in it. Your children might be in real tight situation if they give them more and more false hope.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both advantages and disadvantages, though the development is uneven. The argument regarding the disadvantages is more prominent, while the advantages are somewhat overshadowed by personal anecdotes. The position is clear, but the ideas are not fully extended. For instance, the discussion on 'arrogance' and 'selfishness' is introduced but lacks sufficient explanation or examples to be fully convincing. To improve, ensure that each point is supported by a clear explanation or a general example rather than relying heavily on personal experience, which can limit the scope of the argument in an academic task.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear attempt to use cohesive devices such as 'On one hand' and 'On the other hand'. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical or disjointed. For example, the transition between the discussion of arrogance and the personal anecdote about friends is abrupt. Additionally, some referencing is unclear, such as the phrase 'the hope that they give to children are can guide to their dream', which makes the conclusion difficult to follow. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each sentence logically follows the previous one will enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and range required for a higher band. There are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice, such as 'delusional speech', 'parenting figure', and 'physically not mentally'. While the meaning is generally clear, the lack of sophisticated collocations and the repetition of basic terms limit the score. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise academic vocabulary and idiomatic expressions that fit the context of child development and parenting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede readability. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'children's have', 'the hope... are can guide'), incorrect article usage, and awkward sentence construction (e.g., 'if they have bad influence on you'). While the meaning is usually understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy, particularly with pluralization and verb forms, to ensure your complex sentences are error-free.

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