Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-07-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In some nations, youngsters tend to believe what their trusted adults tell them. If the children have enough determination they can accomplish everything they want. While there are some benefits to this view, I believe it is not that necessary to give them false hope.

On one hand, kids who are raised in a friendly environment that gives them the idea of achieving their dreams often make the children very arrogant, and selfish in a twisted way. Although it leads to them having on fulfilling their dreams into a reality, like giving up on other things in order to reach their goal. Based on my experience I had faced a lot of different problems in my life. The right solution for fixing the problems always made me to lose my closest friends. My parents taught me that, some people can drag you down to their league if they have bad influence on you, if you ever face that kind of person you always have to keep your distance away or cut ties with them to help yourself on achieving your goal in life, you'll slowly and steadily vision that way. My parents' teaching made me have a small number of friends that can have a good influence on me.

On the other hand, instead of telling children they can do anything with willpower, why can't they just help them on their dream practically not mentally. It would be far better than giving a delusional speech about getting anywhere in life. Parents should guide their children through thick and thin. Children would feel more connected to their parenting figure even though they might have a slightly little determination compared to speech about faith

In conclusion, the hope that they give to children can lead to their dream often has a weak spot in it. Your children might be in a real tight situation if they give them more and more false hope.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both advantages and disadvantages, though the development is uneven. The argument regarding the disadvantages is somewhat muddled by personal anecdotes that do not clearly link back to the prompt's core theme of 'achieving anything'. The advantages are touched upon but lack depth, as the focus shifts quickly to personal experience. To improve, you should ensure that each paragraph directly supports the main argument with clear, objective reasoning rather than relying on subjective narratives. The conclusion is present but does not effectively summarize the main points, leaving the overall position slightly underdeveloped.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the logical progression within paragraphs is often disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear transitions. For example, the transition 'On one hand' is followed by a paragraph that struggles to maintain a consistent focus. Cohesive devices are used, but they are sometimes mechanical or misused, such as the abrupt shift in the second paragraph from the topic of arrogance to personal anecdotes about cutting ties with friends. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring each sentence flows naturally from the previous one would significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and variety required for a higher band. You use some basic terms repeatedly, such as 'dreams' and 'problems'. There are also instances of awkward collocations and word choices, such as 'delusional speech' and 'slightly little determination', which sound unnatural. While the meaning is generally clear, the range of vocabulary is limited, and there is little evidence of less common lexical items or idiomatic expressions. To improve, focus on learning collocations and using more academic synonyms to express your ideas with greater sophistication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'make the children very arrogant'), awkward phrasing (e.g., 'having on fulfilling their dreams'), and incorrect preposition use. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. While the errors do not completely prevent understanding, they are frequent enough to be noticeable. To reach a higher band, you should focus on mastering complex sentence structures and proofreading for common grammatical slips, particularly regarding verb forms and sentence fragments.

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