Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-07-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Children from many cultures have been advised that they can get anything after doing hard work.

The pros of telling students about this advice vary from children to children. Firstly, he may start doing work even more harder. Secondly, he put his heart and soul in getting the desired opportunity. Thirdly, the children does not waste his time outside in useless activities like staying in a bad company. There built a passion of getting good marks in schools and colleges as well. The bright student can also influence the dull students. They can enlighten a new hope of success in their minds. I believe that children have to be influenced by their parents. The way they grow up with their dreams, encourages them to achieve their goals efficiently. Parents should also give prizes to their children when they acquire good grades in any exam. In this way, their spirit towards their goal may get even more stronger and they do their tasks in a beautiful way.

The cons of giving this message to the children also varies. As we have heard that all the fingers of our hand cannot be equal. Similarly, the students who have seen the dreams of getting good post but he has not the guts to achieve that goal. After a great hard work, when a children is failing again and again, he may lose his hope and may get his heart broken. In my country, there have been such cases when the students commit suicides after not attaining their desired marks.

In conclusion, parents should check by themselves whether their child has the guts to achieve higher goals in his life. If not, then they should not advice them that they can acquire anything if they work hard.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. The ideas are relevant, such as increased motivation as an advantage and the risk of psychological distress as a disadvantage. However, the development is somewhat limited and relies on generalizations. The structure is clear, and the position is consistent throughout the essay. To reach a higher band, you should aim to provide more nuanced examples and expand on the reasoning behind your points, rather than listing them briefly. The conclusion provides a clear summary of your stance, which is a positive feature of your writing.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs for pros and cons, and a conclusion. You use some cohesive devices like 'Firstly', 'Secondly', and 'In conclusion' to guide the reader. However, some transitions are mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'The pros of telling students about this advice vary from children to children.' The referencing is occasionally unclear, particularly with pronoun usage (e.g., 'he' used for a generic child). Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring smoother transitions between sentences would enhance the flow and coherence of your arguments.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to convey your ideas clearly. You use some topic-specific phrases like 'heart and soul' and 'attaining their desired marks'. However, there are instances of imprecise word choice and collocation errors, such as 'get anything after doing hard work' instead of 'achieve anything through hard work' and 'get his heart broken' instead of 'become disheartened'. To improve, focus on learning collocations and using more precise academic vocabulary to express complex ideas, rather than relying on informal or slightly unnatural phrasing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'the children does not', 'a children is failing') and article usage. Additionally, there are issues with sentence construction, such as 'There built a passion' and 'he has not the guts'. These errors are noticeable and occasionally distract the reader, though they do not completely impede communication. Focusing on basic grammatical accuracy, especially subject-verb agreement and pluralization, will significantly improve your score.

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