Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-07-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays study hard enough has become an increasingly populer topic. while some people believe that this is the key of achieve.

I personally believe that if you try hard enough for something you would can be failing to succeed. Because people born with diffrent abilities . I agree with study hard enough is important but abilities have positive impact on this .

For example you can good at sport and if you try hard enough in sportslike running hiking.. you would be successful because your mind concantrate with this succeed and your body created for sport

On the other hand if you have not any abilities in sport or another things you would get tired. this is because your body and your mind dont be likely to sport or another things.

Furtheremore succeed require interest. when you have an ineterst something , you are obssed with them. people who to be interest

in a field , they can be more successful .

For example if you keen on writing or reading you would try hard enough you can be successful. because you are obssesed with words and you want to be think and study in every time of day.

As a result if you have abilities and interest you would be a successful. But study hard enough is play a important role in this topic. When you become aware yourself you should try improve yourself in your ability and interest furtheremore if you do something for yourself you can improve the quality of your life

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing the advantages and disadvantages of the belief that hard work leads to success. However, the development of ideas is limited. While you mention that innate ability and interest are factors, the arguments remain somewhat superficial and repetitive. To reach a higher band, you should provide more nuanced examples and explore the implications of this message on children's mental health or motivation more deeply. The position is clear, but the supporting points lack the depth required for a higher score.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical flow is often interrupted by awkward phrasing and a lack of clear cohesive devices. Transitions between ideas are sometimes missing or mechanical, such as the abrupt shift between the discussion of sports and the mention of interest. Referencing is occasionally unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the progression of your argument. Improving the use of linking words like 'consequently', 'furthermore', or 'conversely' would help create a smoother, more professional structure.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

Your vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive. You frequently use basic terms like 'study hard' and 'successful'. There are also several spelling errors, such as 'popuer' (popular), 'diffrent' (different), 'concantrate' (concentrate), and 'obssed' (obsessed). While your meaning is generally conveyed, the lack of precision and the recurring spelling mistakes hinder the overall impact. To improve, try to incorporate more academic collocations and synonyms to express your ideas with greater variety and accuracy.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'succeed require interest'), incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'you would can be failing'), and missing articles or prepositions. Sentence structures are mostly simple, and attempts at complex sentences often contain errors in syntax. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, specifically ensuring that verbs agree with their subjects and that tense usage is consistent throughout the essay.

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