Band 7.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-07-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 7.5)

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything they desire if they work hard enough. While I acknowledge that this saying may put pressure on children, I largely believe that the advantages of saying this to children outweigh the disadvantages.

One major reason is that it is more likely for children to become motivated to achieve their goals. Is it possible for children to believe that no matter how ambitious their dreams are, they will be able to convert them into reality as long as they put enough hard work. As a result, the kids will learn to persist when they are faced with challenges in life. Many recent studies have shown that youngsters who were told that hard work was key grew up to become more resilient and determined compared to kids who were not told this.

Nevertheless, children may push themselves too hard. A child who believes that they have no limits to what they can accomplish may grow up to become adults who work tirelessly. This could potentially lead to burn-out and take a major toll on a person's physical and mental health. To add on, it can be very frustrating and stressful for a child when they push themselves to achieve a goal and are not able to meet their expectations. Consequently, they might feel inadequate about themselves, possibly reducing their self-esteem.

To conclude, motivating children by telling them that hard work is key to success can be extremely beneficial as long as they are reminded that hard work should not come at the expense of their overall wellbeing. It is important for more children to grow up in environments that encourage them to work hard but help them learn when to take breaks.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.5

The response addresses all parts of the task, providing both advantages and disadvantages. The position is clear throughout, and the ideas are extended with relevant reasoning. For instance, the discussion on motivation and resilience provides a solid argument for the advantages, while the points regarding burnout and self-esteem effectively cover the disadvantages. The development is logical and consistent with the prompt. To reach a higher band, you could provide more specific examples or real-world scenarios to further illustrate your points, as the current arguments are somewhat general in nature.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 8.0

The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph has a central theme, and the progression of ideas is logical. Cohesive devices such as 'One major reason', 'Nevertheless', and 'Consequently' are used effectively to link sentences and ideas. The paragraphing is appropriate, and the flow of the argument is easy to follow. There is a minor issue with the phrasing in the second paragraph ('Is it possible for children to believe...'), which slightly disrupts the flow, but overall, the structure is coherent and effective.

Lexical Resource — Band 7.5

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to discuss the topic with some flexibility. Phrases like 'convert them into reality', 'persist when they are faced with challenges', and 'at the expense of their overall wellbeing' show a good command of language. There are no significant errors in word choice that impede communication. To improve, you could incorporate more sophisticated or less common collocations to demonstrate a wider range, as some of the vocabulary remains relatively standard for this type of essay.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 7.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. Most sentences are error-free, and your control of grammar is generally strong. However, there are a few minor slips, such as the awkward phrasing in the second paragraph ('Is it possible for children to believe that no matter how ambitious their dreams are, they will be able to convert them into reality as long as they put enough hard work'), which lacks a clear subject-verb connection or object. Despite these minor issues, the majority of your sentences are accurate and complex structures are used with reasonable success.

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