Band 8.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 8.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-07-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 8.0)

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything they desire if they work hard enough. While I acknowledge that this message may put pressure on children, I largely believe that the advantages of saying this to children outweigh the disadvantages.

One major reason is that it is more likely for children to become motivated to achieve their goals. It is possible for children to believe that no matter how ambitious their dreams are, they will be able to convert them into reality as long as they put enough hard work into them. As a result, the kids will learn to persist when they are faced with challenges in life. Many recent studies have shown that youngsters who were told that hard work was key grew up to become more resilient and determined compared to kids who were not told this.

Nevertheless, children may push themselves too hard. A child who believes that they have no limits to what they can accomplish may grow up to become an adult who work tirelessly. This could potentially lead to burnout and take a major toll on a person's physical and mental health. Additionally, it can be very frustrating and stressful for a child when they push themselves to achieve a goal and are not able to meet their expectations. Consequently, they might feel inadequate about themselves, possibly reducing their self-esteem.

To conclude, motivating children by telling them that hard work is key to success can be extremely beneficial as long as they are reminded that hard work should not come at the expense of their overall wellbeing. It is important for more children to grow up in environments that encourage them to work hard but help them learn when to take breaks.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 8.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, providing a clear position that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. The arguments regarding motivation and resilience are well-developed, as are the counter-arguments regarding burnout and self-esteem. The ideas are extended and supported with logical reasoning. The essay maintains a consistent focus on the topic throughout. To reach a higher band, you could provide a more specific real-world example or a more nuanced exploration of how cultural context influences these outcomes, which would add further depth to your analysis.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 8.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph has a central theme, and the progression of ideas is easy to follow. Cohesive devices such as 'One major reason', 'Nevertheless', and 'Consequently' are used effectively to link sentences and paragraphs. The paragraphing is appropriate and contributes to the overall clarity of the argument. The flow is natural, and the relationship between ideas is clearly signaled, making the text easy to read and understand.

Lexical Resource — Band 7.5

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to discuss the topic with precision. Phrases like 'convert them into reality', 'take a major toll', and 'at the expense of' show good control of collocation and style. While the vocabulary is generally accurate and appropriate, it is mostly functional rather than sophisticated. To improve, try to incorporate more precise academic collocations or less common lexical items to demonstrate a wider range. For example, instead of 'work tirelessly', you could use 'relentlessly pursue their objectives'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 8.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures effectively. There is good control over grammar, with most sentences being error-free. You successfully use conditional structures and complex clauses to express your ideas. There is a minor error in the third paragraph: 'an adult who work tirelessly' should be 'an adult who works tirelessly'. Despite this, the error is non-systematic and does not impede communication. The punctuation is generally accurate, and the overall grammatical control is strong.

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