Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-07-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays, a statement become very popular and seem to be hotly debates in the society that In few cultures, kids are often told that if they try hard they can succeed in everything. There are many benifits of this statement and in this essay I will the advantages and drawbacks of this argument.

To begin with, hard work is the key of success. The given statement is also about this idiom. If children want success then they have to work hard and as a reult they get success. There are many positive points of the given statement. If childrens follow the advice of theri elders then they can get success in every field. For instance, if a child study in school and he told that if you want to succeed then you have to try your best. In this way, student become very hard working in his life. Furthermore, by following the advice of their parents, they can become successful person in their lifes. For example, my parents also told me to work hard and now I am a successful person because i obey the order of my parents.

However, I believe that there is not a single drawback of this statement because this is a good advice not only for childrens as well as for elders.

To conclude, there are many benifits of the given statement. Therefore, I also suggest everyone to follow this advice and start working hard and as a result you will succeed in every field.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt but fails to provide a balanced discussion. While the task asks for both advantages and disadvantages, you explicitly state, 'I believe that there is not a single drawback of this statement.' This refusal to engage with the negative aspects of the prompt results in an unbalanced essay. The ideas presented are repetitive, focusing almost exclusively on the benefits of hard work rather than the potential psychological pressure or unrealistic expectations that might arise from telling children they can achieve anything. To improve, ensure you explore both sides of the argument as requested by the task instructions.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and repetitive (e.g., 'To begin with', 'Furthermore', 'For instance'). While there is a logical progression, the transition between the introduction and the body paragraphs is basic. The conclusion is also quite brief and does not effectively summarize the main points of the argument. To reach a higher band, try to use a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each paragraph flows more naturally into the next, rather than relying on simple list-like transitions.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. You rely on simple, repetitive phrasing such as 'get success' and 'hard working'. There are also some spelling errors, such as 'benifits', 'reult', and 'theri'. While the meaning is clear, the lack of variety and the presence of spelling mistakes limit the score. To improve, focus on using more sophisticated synonyms and ensure you check your spelling for common words. Expanding your vocabulary to include more academic collocations would significantly enhance your writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Examples include 'a statement become very popular' (should be 'has become'), 'kids are often told that if they try hard they can succeed' (missing punctuation), and 'if a child study' (subject-verb agreement). Additionally, there are issues with pluralization, such as 'childrens' (the plural of child is children). These errors are noticeable and occur frequently, though they do not completely impede communication. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and basic sentence construction will help improve your accuracy.

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