Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In nowadays in many cultures or areas people believe and told their childrens that if you have to acheive anything, you have to try hard enough. There is several advantages and disadvantages of provide this message to children. I discuss it in the paragraph further.

In cultures, where this message is provided to children, the biggest advantage was the children keep hoping and try hard to acheive things they want, without losing confidence on himself. Furthermore, It helps to tends the childrens towards a positive attitude, it makes faith or build belief in the children that they can try hard enough, theyacheive anything what they want which also helps to the positive effect on the child mindset. Children can not dipped into sadness or feel depressed after failing one time and they aim to even try harder next time and acheive that they want.

In contrast, the disadvantage was the children was just try harder and even more harder then doing the same thing smartly which saves his energy, time, cost etc. Their is also negative impact on their mindset when they do not get the outcome, what they wanted by just doing the hard work in wrong direction because that child was told that if they try hard enough, they can acheive anything. Additinally, if the child loose that by another factor they makes a mpoint of view that they can not try hard enough .

There is a both the advantage and disadvantages of told the children that they can acheive anything if they try hard hard enough, but it depends on the child how they took it as in positive way or negative way.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited and repetitive. For instance, the point about 'hard work in the wrong direction' is a strong observation, but it is not fully explored or supported with a concrete example. The position is clear, but the overall argument lacks the depth required for a higher band. The introduction is a bit informal and contains several grammatical errors that slightly obscure the clarity of the initial position. To improve, ensure that each main point is supported by a clear explanation or a brief illustrative example to demonstrate a more thorough engagement with the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. For example, 'In nowadays' is an incorrect opening, and 'Additinally' contains a spelling error. The transition between ideas is sometimes abrupt, such as the jump from the benefits of a positive mindset to the disadvantages of working hard without strategy. The referencing is occasionally unclear, particularly with pronouns like 'they' and 'it', which makes it difficult to track the subject matter. Improving the variety and accuracy of linking words will help the flow of the essay significantly.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range expected at higher levels. There are frequent errors in word choice and form, such as 'dipped into sadness' instead of 'fall into despair' and 'makes a mpoint of view'. The repetition of basic words like 'hard', 'children', and 'achieve' (often misspelled as 'acheive') limits the lexical variety. While the meaning is generally conveyed, the lack of sophisticated collocations and the persistent spelling errors prevent a higher score. Focusing on learning synonyms and correct word forms will be beneficial.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay relies heavily on simple sentence structures, and attempts at complex sentences are frequently marred by grammatical errors. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'There is several advantages', 'the children was just try') and tense consistency. Punctuation is also problematic, with missing commas and incorrect sentence boundaries. While the meaning is usually understandable, the frequency of errors is high enough to cause some difficulty for the reader. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, specifically subject-verb agreement and consistent verb tenses, before attempting more complex structures.

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