Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Believing self is a the best motivation for the younger generations. In different cultures, youngsters are believed and told that they can succeed in everything if they are fully dedicated on the particular things which they targeted. And some argues that there is a bit difficulties and disadvantages will be there in the journey. This essay will discuss both advantages and disadvantages upon the topic before explain why i believe children should be get motivated to keep their dreams alive.

On the one hand, Cultures that are often motivates the children to try hard their job done is a great motive to achieve something better than the past. For instance children are Dreaming big for the future perspective that helps them to keen on the thing which they wanted to become. Such as Doctors, Engineers and Politician whatever the role it may be. Having clear plan and goal with exponential skills will definitely reach their destinations.

On the other hand, People often over confident about their dream leads to cause a failure without a proper planning and hard work. However, there are so many generations that are passed through this stages and got effected such as spent a lot of time to reach the dream destinations.

Having a confident about the journey will help people to get success with consistency and also over self motivation will leads to stop dreaming about their work. In conclusion, i would like to conclude that motivated mindset with proper planning and hard work is a most effective.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both advantages and disadvantages. However, the development of ideas is limited. While you mention that children dreaming big helps them achieve goals, the explanation is brief and lacks concrete examples or logical depth. Similarly, the disadvantages section is vague; phrases like 'got effected' and 'spent a lot of time' do not clearly explain the negative consequences of over-ambition. The position is stated in the introduction, but the supporting arguments remain superficial throughout the response. To improve, you should expand on your points with specific reasoning or real-world examples to ensure the reader fully understands your perspective.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. For example, 'Such as Doctors, Engineers and Politician' is a sentence fragment, and the transition 'However, there are so many generations that are passed through this stages' is confusing and lacks logical connection to the previous sentence. The progression of ideas is sometimes hindered by these awkward transitions. To improve, focus on using linking words like 'consequently', 'furthermore', or 'on the contrary' more naturally to connect your sentences and ensure that each paragraph flows logically from one point to the next.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary range is limited and often repetitive. You rely on basic words like 'things', 'job', and 'great'. There are also several instances of incorrect word choice and collocation, such as 'believing self' instead of 'self-belief', 'fully dedicated on' instead of 'dedicated to', and 'over self motivation' which is unclear. Some phrases, such as 'dream destinations', are used but do not always fit the context of the argument. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use more precise academic vocabulary and ensure that your word choices are grammatically correct and appropriate for the context of the discussion.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text that occasionally impede communication. Examples include 'Believing self is a the best motivation', 'some argues that there is a bit difficulties', and 'children should be get motivated'. Sentence structures are generally simple, and attempts at more complex sentences often result in errors, such as 'Cultures that are often motivates the children to try hard their job done'. Punctuation and article usage (a/the) are also inconsistent. To improve, focus on basic sentence construction, subject-verb agreement, and the correct use of articles. Proofreading for these common errors will significantly improve the clarity of your writing.

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