Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-01
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In few tradition, adolescent are often told about they can get anything by hardworking. I believe that there are many advantages in this statement where students can do hard work to achieve high score and people are achieving their dream by master one skill.
Students can do hard work for a better future andthey would get high score in exam. Children is usually said that anybody can achieve their goal by practice on study daily. Learner can grab new knowledge and apply it on their studies. if they will consistently focus on their study. It would assist to build better future for the students. Many students prepare for the government exam and they would get their name in merit list through hardworking on studies. And they would focus on studies without any distraction. Hence, students can achieve their dream and build their bright future.
Moreover, people can master skill by practice that it would help in growth of future plan. In many countries, usually people can pay attention on learning many skills and standard one skill. In contrast, if they would focus on one skill as well as they can learn new knowledge about it, it help to master on that skills in few time. For example, in schooling, many students learn the coding skills, they watch YouTube videos and implement it on coding. It would help to learn coding in few months. Therefore,people can learn a new skill.
In conclusion, students can get high score by daily study. Like they can learn new things. Also, people can focus on one skill that it lead to a better future.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses the prompt by discussing the advantages of the 'hard work' mindset, but it fails to address the disadvantages entirely. The task asks for both advantages and disadvantages, and by omitting the latter, the response is incomplete. The ideas presented are somewhat repetitive, focusing primarily on academic success and skill acquisition without exploring the potential psychological downsides of this message, such as the pressure to succeed or the impact of failure. To improve, ensure you dedicate at least one paragraph to the disadvantages to provide a balanced argument as required by the prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical progression is weak. While some cohesive devices like 'Moreover' and 'In conclusion' are used, they are often applied mechanically or incorrectly. For instance, the transition between the idea of 'hard work' and 'mastering a skill' is abrupt. The referencing is sometimes unclear, and the flow between sentences is disjointed, making it difficult for the reader to follow the development of your argument. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring each paragraph has a clear, singular focus would significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is limited and often repetitive. Phrases like 'hardworking on studies' and 'build their bright future' are used frequently, which restricts the range of your expression. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'In few tradition' instead of 'In some cultures' and 'master one skill' instead of 'mastering a skill'. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use a wider variety of vocabulary and ensure that words are used in their correct grammatical form and context.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'Children is usually said'), article usage, and sentence structure. Many sentences are simple or contain errors in complex structures, such as 'if they will consistently focus on their study'. The misuse of prepositions and tense consistency also detracts from the clarity of the writing. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors like pluralisation and verb forms.
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