Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 7.0)

Nowadays, children are trained in a way that everything is achievable with hard work. This perspective helps to keep them motivated, confident, and to work hard. While it also gives them immense pressure and mental disturbance.

In some societies, children's upbringing is done by telling them that they can achieve everything, if they worked hard for it. This approach has many advantages: by this way children think positive about their success while studying, playing, or doing any task. Numerous studies shows that being motivated and staying confident, helps to progress positively in any field of life. This approach link their success with the extent to which they have tried. It encourage them to work hard in order to prosper and achieve positive results.

Despite these advantages, one can not disregard its disadvantages. Using this teaching, children are not mentally prepared for any unexpected life's upcoming. They think every success belong to them because they tried hard for it. Due to this condition, they are not ready to accept peer's success and it negatively impact their relation with class fellows. Moreover, if they do not get desirable results due to any reason, they are considered accountable by the parents, teachers, and society. By not achieving expected results, they are considered uncapable and incompetent, as a result they feel immense pressure and get mentally disturb.

In conclusion, teaching children to work hard, for achieving any thing is a positive strategy as it boost their confidence, but it also make them unprepared for any unexpected results.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. The position is clear throughout, and the ideas are relevant. However, the development is somewhat limited; for instance, the point about 'peer's success' is a good observation but could be expanded with more specific examples or deeper analysis. The conclusion is brief and summarizes the main points effectively. To reach a higher band, ensure that each argument is fully extended with more detailed explanations or real-world examples to demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices such as 'While', 'Despite these advantages', 'Moreover', and 'In conclusion' are used to guide the reader. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and there are minor issues with referencing (e.g., 'this approach' is used repeatedly). The flow is generally smooth, but more varied linking phrases would improve the overall cohesion and make the progression of ideas feel more natural.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing the writer to convey their ideas clearly. There are some attempts at less common vocabulary, such as 'prosper', 'incompetent', and 'disregard'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'mental disturbance' (better as 'mental distress') and 'unexpected life's upcoming' (which is non-standard). Spelling is generally accurate, but the range of vocabulary is somewhat restricted, preventing a higher score. Focusing on more precise collocations would enhance the quality of the writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is always clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement ('Numerous studies shows') and pluralization/articles ('every success belong', 'get mentally disturb'). There are also issues with sentence construction, such as the fragment in the first paragraph: 'While it also gives them immense pressure and mental disturbance.' Improving control over complex structures and proofreading for basic grammatical slips would significantly raise the score in this criterion.

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