Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In many cultures, children are usually told that if they put their blood and sweat in any thing they will definitely achieve it, Which actually works in many cases but sometimes it proves to be a source of stress for some.

On one side of the stone this mindset proves to be very beneficial and helpful for the youngones, such as in many cases such children become tough and resillient to the setbacks they face however these children do not surrender immidiately but they stand strong and face it and try to win whatever happens. For example I remember when i was about twelve years old and I had participated in a hurdle race in my school and during the race I stumbled and hit thr ground very hard and everyone gained lead on me now if I was never taught the lesson to to never give up i would have never gotten up but thanks to my parents they always supported me and always taught me to make my own way. So I stood up and ran so hard that evem after falling behind I managed to get second position in the race.

On the other side of the stone this can prove to be very stressful for youngsters because we know sometimes we work very hard but things do not go in the way we planned them so If some child works very hard for something but they fail to achieve it they will be very frustrated, panicked and stressed because it directly contradicts what has been put into their mind.

In conclusion the tradition of feeding children with the belief that can win anything by hardwork is very good and fuels them with determination and self belief, but this message should be carefully portrayed to them in a balanced way which also keeps them aware of the external realities so that it proves to be a blessing for them and not a curse.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. You have a clear position and provide relevant examples, such as the personal anecdote about the hurdle race. However, the development of the disadvantages is slightly less detailed than the advantages. To reach a higher band, ensure that the discussion of the negative impacts is as fully extended as the positive ones. The ideas are relevant, but the overall argument could benefit from more nuanced exploration of the 'external realities' mentioned in the conclusion. Overall, the task is well-addressed.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, each with a clear focus. You use some cohesive devices like 'On one side of the stone' and 'In conclusion', though some of these phrases are non-standard or slightly awkward. The progression of ideas is generally clear, but the flow between sentences could be smoother. For instance, the transition between the personal anecdote and the general argument in the second paragraph is a bit abrupt. Improving the variety and precision of your linking words would enhance the overall coherence of the text.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using words like 'resilient', 'contradicts', and 'determination'. However, there are several instances of awkward collocations or non-standard phrasing, such as 'put their blood and sweat in' (usually 'put their blood, sweat, and tears into') and 'On one side of the stone' (which is not a standard idiom). Spelling errors like 'youngones', 'resillient', 'immidiately', and 'evem' occur, though they do not impede communication. Expanding your vocabulary to include more precise academic collocations would improve your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you successfully convey your meaning, there are frequent errors in punctuation and grammar, such as the comma splice in the first sentence ('...achieve it, Which actually works...'), missing articles, and incorrect verb forms. Some sentences are quite long and become slightly difficult to follow due to punctuation issues. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence boundaries and ensuring subject-verb agreement. Increasing the frequency of error-free complex sentences will help you move into the higher band range.

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