Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Children often get guidance and support either from their parents or teacher in that some children are told to try hard enough in order to achieve something or to become successful. There can be severe advantages along with the disadvantages. In this essay I will give all the facts and idea about this matter.

The essay will anticipate the idea of advantage of guiding children to achieve something. Firstly, saying children to try hard to achieve can give them motivation to work on it with full concentration, focus and not to give up which eventually helps them to achieve anything and also it is saying that hard work is the key to success. For instances, in China and India majority of students are preparing for tough competitive exams like JEE, Gaokao in that they have to try hard day and night to get desired result which can later be useful in the life. This are the some advantages of telling children to try hard to achieve something.

Furthermore, there are some disadvantages of this like it can pressurized children into doing something which they are not able to do it and in the end it lead to the depression or anxiety in early ages and also increasing in the rate of suicide for not achieving something despite of trying hard enough. For example , there has been increasing rate of suicide of children due to failing in competitive exams because they try hard enough but are not able to get desirable results.

To conclude, advise like to try hard enough to achieve something is necessary to encourage and in the same side it is also important to say not to pressurize often into it otherwise it can lead to severe disadvantages than advantages.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you provide examples like the JEE and Gaokao exams, the analysis remains relatively superficial. The position is clear, but the essay would benefit from a more nuanced exploration of the psychological impact of this message on children. To reach a higher band, ensure that each point is fully extended with deeper reasoning rather than just stating the consequence. The introduction is also quite generic and could be more engaging.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas from the introduction to the conclusion. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'Furthermore', and 'To conclude' to link your points. However, the transitions between sentences are sometimes mechanical, and the use of referencing is occasionally imprecise, such as 'This are the some advantages'. Improving the variety of cohesive devices and ensuring smoother flow between sentences would help elevate the score. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the advantages and disadvantages.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to convey your meaning clearly. You attempt some topic-specific vocabulary like 'competitive exams' and 'anxiety', but the range is somewhat limited. There are instances of awkward phrasing, such as 'severe advantages' (which is a collocation error, as 'severe' is typically used for negative outcomes) and 'saying children to try hard' (which should be 'telling children'). To improve, focus on using more precise collocations and a wider range of academic vocabulary to express your ideas with greater sophistication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('This are the some advantages') and incorrect verb forms ('it lead to the depression'). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are minor errors with comma usage. The errors do not significantly impede communication, but they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy and refining complex sentence construction will be beneficial.

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