Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-03
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Yes,It is very true in some traditions fewer council the children that they can succeed anything if they work hard to reach their goals in lives.
I strongly agree with this statement. I will discuss the both merits and demerits with for the given quote.
In the beginning life is an big competition in the modern era in any field such as education,sports,arts etc.This are the factors where young stars get trained and focus on the dreams.This aspects are followed by giving the enough encourage and support them.This words majorly impact on the positive side of jevuniles and get courage to achieve the task.They can be maintained a disciple and focused on their thoughts,doing hard work can boost the energy and encourage their confidence.This will keep the kids move forward in a correct direction with out negative or second thought comes to mind.The main perception of this theme being stabled and connects the bonds between with each other.
On the other hand the demirits of this word are the learners will be an assumption that doing hard work will definitely pays off one day when though the children are in capable.There strong emotions will be developing in an negative way reach the task.Moreover,this type of message will be draw back the minors that there is something need to be learn from the defeat as well in the lives.
For Instance,In India 12 percentage of the parents will motivate that their kids regarding spending hours on books will gain the first rank in the classroom where as it also develops that first is the only concept to learn in the life.It is too wrong .
In conclusion,this essay as both the advantages and disadvantages with overlap it is advice the youth to give the support for success and help to motivate in wrong situations in life.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt, but the development of ideas is inconsistent. While you identify positive aspects like motivation and discipline, the negative points—such as the potential for unrealistic expectations—are underdeveloped and lack clarity. The example provided regarding India is somewhat confusing and does not effectively illustrate the broader argument about the consequences of this message. To improve, ensure that each point is supported by a clear explanation or a more relevant, well-integrated example. Your position is generally clear, but the overall argument would benefit from more logical depth and a more formal, academic tone throughout the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate, such as 'In the beginning life is an big competition' or 'The main perception of this theme being stabled'. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs are sometimes abrupt, making the flow feel disjointed. While there is an attempt to use linking words, they are not always used appropriately to connect ideas logically. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of cohesive devices more naturally and ensure that each sentence flows logically from the previous one.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
Your vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive, which restricts your ability to express complex ideas precisely. There are several instances of awkward word choices and incorrect collocations, such as 'fewer council the children' (likely meaning 'counsel') and 'jevuniles' (juveniles). Additionally, phrases like 'doing hard work can boost the energy' are simplistic. While the meaning is generally conveyed, the lack of precision and the presence of spelling errors (e.g., 'demirits', 'stabled') indicate a need to expand your range of vocabulary and pay closer attention to word formation and spelling to improve clarity and academic tone.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede readability. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'This are the factors'), incorrect article usage, and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'will be draw back the minors'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with spacing after commas. While you attempt to use complex sentences, they are often marred by errors in tense or word order. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors like subject-verb agreement and pluralization to ensure your writing is more accurate and professional.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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