Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-03
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In many societies, the children are told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. I believe that the people tells this to encourage the children and to boost there confidence.
On one hand, the encouraging children is important as they can get confidence from it and then they do the hard work to achieve there goals. It is very important to do the hard work as sometimes we can achieve our goals by doing hard work. This can improve there academic performance, sports achievement and future careers. But all the time it does not happen by only doing the hard work we can achieve the goal. For example, if one student is getting lower marks in practice test but by doing hard work it can perform good in final exams. It shows that we can achieve anything by consistently doing hard work.
On the other hand, telling children always that by doing hard work they can achieve any thing does not as there are so many factors that contribute to it like the natural factors, opportunities and even luck. As a result, some people get disappointed and blame themselves for failure and not get the good results by doing hard work. The mindset also plays an important role in the life of people.
In my opinion, children should be encouraged to achieve the goals by doing hard work as they can lead to achieve the success but we should also tell them to set realistic goals and understand that failure is the part of life.
In conclusion, teaching children that doing hard work we can achieve anything but then we should also tell them that the failure is the part of life and we should try to cope up them. Not all the things happen by doing hard work there are many factors that plays a role in it.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. However, the development of ideas is somewhat repetitive and lacks depth. For instance, the argument regarding 'hard work' is stated multiple times without significant elaboration or varied examples. While the position is clear, the explanation of why children might feel disappointed is a bit superficial. To reach a higher band, you should aim to provide more nuanced examples—such as the psychological impact of unrealistic expectations or the specific benefits of a growth mindset—rather than repeating the same points about 'hard work' and 'goals'.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas. You use basic cohesive devices like 'On one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion' to signal the structure. However, the flow within paragraphs is sometimes mechanical, and there are instances where referencing is unclear, such as 'this can improve there academic performance' where the antecedent for 'this' is slightly vague. Additionally, the transition between the benefits and the drawbacks could be smoother to create a more cohesive argument.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it is somewhat limited and repetitive. You frequently use basic terms like 'hard work', 'achieve', and 'goals'. There are also some minor errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'cope up them' (should be 'cope with them') and 'there' instead of 'their'. To improve, try to incorporate more precise synonyms and collocations related to the topic of child development and success, such as 'perseverance', 'intrinsic motivation', or 'unrealistic expectations'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement ('the people tells', 'factors that plays') and pronoun usage ('there' instead of 'their'). Punctuation is generally functional, but some sentences are slightly awkward, such as 'telling children always that by doing hard work they can achieve any thing does not as there are so many factors'. Increasing the variety of complex structures while focusing on accuracy would significantly improve your score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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