Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It has been observed that nowadays few traditions opine the fact that if children tries he/she can achieve whatever they want. This statement has its own causes and effects. Both the merits and demerits will be elaborated in upcoming paragraphs with valid reasons and appropriate examples.

Examining the gains, the foremost one is, helps kids to persist more rather than easily quitting the task i.e, if children's will not try they will not understand the importance of struggle in their lives which may affect child's thinking power,For instance the kid is preparing for the exams, he/she is not able to recall the things in one week before the exams and quitting in a day or two by thinking this is not going to happen by him/her then it might affect the result; Moreover, trying best helps the pupils to boost up their self-esteem i.e, if he/she tries and after the lots efforts he/she might get the result that is expected, so it improves the moral of the kid.

However, there are few drawbacks too. To begin with, forcing kid to try with the lack of natural talents in the pupils creates extreme pressure and then it affects their mental health, For example, they are trying but not getting results as expected because of lack of natural talent to achieve something, they might get into overthinking and depression.

To conclude, if children's try they can achieve whatever they want but extreme pressure also affects their daily lives. So, there are both advantages and disadvantages of the particular statement but if kid's do whatever of their interest without any kind of pressure they might achieve results they want.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention persistence and self-esteem as advantages, and pressure and mental health as disadvantages, the explanations are occasionally repetitive and lack depth. For instance, the example regarding exam preparation is a bit convoluted and does not fully illustrate the 'advantage' clearly. To improve, ensure each point is supported by a more distinct, well-explained example that directly links back to the core argument. Your position is clear, but the overall structure could be more balanced to ensure a more comprehensive exploration of the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your argument. You use some cohesive devices like 'However', 'Moreover', and 'To conclude' to signal transitions. However, the flow within paragraphs is sometimes hindered by awkward sentence structures and punctuation errors, such as the comma splice in '...thinking power,For instance the kid...'. Additionally, the use of referencing is occasionally unclear, making some sentences feel disjointed. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that your punctuation supports the logical flow of your ideas rather than interrupting them.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to communicate your ideas clearly. You use some relevant terms like 'persist', 'self-esteem', and 'overthinking'. However, there are instances of imprecise word choice and awkward phrasing, such as 'few traditions opine the fact' and 'boost up their self-esteem'. The repetition of 'try' and 'achieve' throughout the essay limits your score. To improve, try to incorporate more precise synonyms and collocations, and avoid informal phrasal verbs like 'boost up' in an academic context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'children tries', 'kid's do') and pluralisation (e.g., 'children's try'). Punctuation is also a significant issue, with several run-on sentences and misused commas. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they occur frequently enough to lower the score. To improve, focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement and proofreading for punctuation errors, particularly the correct use of full stops to separate independent clauses.

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