Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays, more and more people work hard in order to achieve their aspirations, and it is argued by some sectors of society that hard work is very crucial and plays a vital role in being successful, while others argue that there are other factors that are more crucial. I acknowledge that both aspects have their own importance, but ultimately, I encourage the former point and find this view more practical and beneficial.

As a matter of fact, culture and cultural diversity play a very crucial role behind the success of a person and a nation. If hard work is a part of the cultural diversity of a nation, consequently, that nation will be successful. For instance, China was liberated in 1949, and the world considered China the land of opium, but it was always hard work that lay behind the success of China.

The sense of hard work is very essential for a person to try and try again. If someone does not try, then how would he be able to be a successful person?

There are countless benefits to hard work. The sense of labor creates the inspiration for us to be dedicated. Furthermore, dedication keeps us alive to try and forces us to be consistent. Substantially, that consistency motivates us to try hard. Consequently, we will achieve our goals.

There are disadvantages to hard work too. For instance, excessive hard work creates mental and physical illness. Because some believe that hard work is the only key to success, they just work hard, not smart, and they are unable to find an easier way to solve the problem.

In conclusion, despite the valid arguments raised by opponents regarding other factors besides hard work, I am still convinced that the overarching benefits of hard work are more substantial.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing the advantages and disadvantages of the message that hard work leads to success. However, the development is somewhat uneven. While the benefits are explored, the discussion on disadvantages is brief and lacks depth, focusing primarily on the concept of working 'smart' versus 'hard' without fully exploring the psychological impact on children. The introduction is slightly off-topic, as it focuses on the general importance of hard work rather than specifically addressing the cultural practice of telling children they can achieve anything. To improve, ensure each point is fully extended with clear examples and a direct link to the prompt's specific focus on children's development.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the argument. Cohesive devices such as 'For instance', 'Furthermore', and 'Consequently' are used to link ideas. However, some transitions feel mechanical or repetitive, particularly the frequent use of 'Consequently' and 'hard work'. The progression of ideas is generally logical, but the connection between the cultural example of China and the specific prompt about children is tenuous. Improving the variety of cohesive devices and ensuring that each paragraph flows naturally into the next would enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the sophistication required for a higher band. There is significant repetition of phrases like 'hard work' and 'crucial', which limits the range of expression. While the meaning is clear, the essay would benefit from more precise synonyms and collocations. For example, instead of 'very crucial', using 'pivotal' or 'essential' would demonstrate a better command of language. The attempt to use more academic vocabulary is present, but it is not yet consistent or natural enough to reach the 7.0 band.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are some grammatical errors, such as 'the world considered China the land of opium' (which is stylistically awkward) and 'the sense of labor creates the inspiration'. Punctuation is generally accurate, but some sentence constructions are slightly clunky. While the errors do not impede communication, the range of complex structures is limited. To achieve a higher score, focus on varying sentence length and using more sophisticated grammatical structures, such as conditional clauses or passive voice, with greater precision.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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