Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In today's contemporary world, children are mostly raised with the belief that strong effort for a task will guarantee success. While, this belief carries a significant drawback of creating physiological pressure and mental strain when unrealistic goal are not being accomplished.

To begin with, The primary advantage is that, hard work leads to 'growth mindset', when children believe that their abilities can be improved with continuous practice. For instance, a student struggling with mathematics will tend to improve, if he/she believe that their effort will bring good grades. Moreover, positive attitude towards a difficult task can help to increase confidence to tackle complex situations.

In contrast, the major drawback of this message is that it ignores the reality of external limitations of an individual, which can lead to mental difficulties. The harsh truth is that, the success relies on various things such as, strategies, luck, smart work and hard work. If a child tries to follow two completely different paths of career simultaneously, they can fall of to an extent that their confidence towards harsh situation would torn apart. This can result in chronic anxiety, diminished self-esteem.

To conclude, While encouraging children to believe in the power of hard work is an excellent tool for building confidence, but they should also be encouraged to accept and celebrate failure as it plays a vital role to form strong mental believe. Additionally, parents and teachers should also encourage the effort itself rather than glazing the success. Finally, people should ensure that youngster understand the failure and process of working with a task.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. The position is clear from the introduction, and the main ideas—such as the 'growth mindset' and the reality of external limitations—are relevant. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the explanation of why children might face mental strain is a bit brief, and the conclusion introduces new advice (celebrating failure) rather than summarizing the main points effectively. To reach a higher band, ensure that each body paragraph fully explores the implications of the arguments presented rather than just stating them.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. Cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'Moreover', and 'In contrast' are used to guide the reader. However, there are some issues with mechanical usage and punctuation that affect the flow. For example, the comma usage in 'While, this belief' is incorrect, and the transition between sentences in the final paragraph is slightly disjointed. Paragraphing is used appropriately, but the internal cohesion within the conclusion could be improved to better link the final thoughts to the preceding arguments.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, with some attempts at less common items like 'growth mindset', 'contemporary', and 'diminished self-esteem'. However, there are several instances of awkward phrasing and collocation errors, such as 'glazing the success' (likely meaning 'glorifying' or 'focusing on') and 'mental believe' (should be 'belief'). The phrase 'fall of to an extent' is also unclear. While the meaning is generally conveyed, the lack of precision in word choice prevents the essay from reaching a higher band score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement ('success relies on', 'youngster understand') and article usage ('the success', 'a student... if he/she believe'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with unnecessary commas appearing frequently, such as after 'While' and 'such as'. While these errors do not impede overall communication, they are persistent enough to keep the score in the 6.0 range. Focusing on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and article placement would significantly improve the clarity of the writing.

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