Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-04
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
Student answer (Band 5.5)
People around the world have different ways of raising a child to flourish and achieve success. In some cultures, children are frequently reminded that they could conquer anything if they try hard enough. This essay will go over the advantages and disadvantages of motivating a child in such way.
The personality of a child is shaped early on in their childhood, due to which mentoring them and paving the right path for them is essential to turn them into a person with great ambitions. Feeding them with the right mindset this early in their life cycle can enable the child to gain confidence before moving to adulthood. Building this confidence is crucial because without it the child is extremely vulnerable and could not be capable to achieve something outstanding. Repeatedly reminding them to try hard enough helps in lifting the bar of self confidence and boosts the ability of critical thinking in a child.
By contrast, conveying this message may cause the child to remain at ease throughout their life causing them to lose the drive of achieving success early on in their life. This could cause serious issues as the child will not tend to worry anymore.
In conclusion, while motivating the child is for their own betterment each child should be taught based on their own qualities and ability to make decisions. For example, a child with a lower intelligence quotient is more likely to get influenced by this repetitive behavior in a negative way. Not everyone is compatible to live with the set standard and follow the same way of motivation.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention confidence and critical thinking as advantages, the explanation remains superficial. The disadvantages section is particularly brief, suggesting that this mindset makes children 'remain at ease' and 'lose the drive,' which is a somewhat confusing argument that lacks clear logical support. To reach a higher band, you should provide more concrete examples or deeper analysis of how this specific message impacts a child's psychological development or long-term motivation. The conclusion introduces new ideas about intelligence quotients that were not previously discussed, which disrupts the flow of your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'By contrast' and 'In conclusion,' to signal shifts in your argument. However, the progression of ideas within the paragraphs is sometimes mechanical. For instance, the transition between the benefits of confidence and the mention of critical thinking feels abrupt. Additionally, the referencing is occasionally unclear; in the second paragraph, the phrase 'due to which' is used awkwardly to connect the ideas. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a single, well-developed central theme would enhance the overall coherence.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'flourish,' 'mentoring,' and 'vulnerable.' However, there are some instances of imprecise word choice or awkward collocations. For example, 'feeding them with the right mindset' is not standard idiomatic English; 'instilling the right mindset' would be more appropriate. Similarly, 'lifting the bar of self confidence' is an unusual phrasing. While your vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning clearly, you need to use a wider range of less common lexical items with more precision and better collocation to achieve a higher band score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is appropriate for this level. There are several grammatical errors that occur throughout the text, such as 'could not be capable to achieve' (should be 'would not be capable of achieving') and 'not everyone is compatible to live' (should be 'compatible with living'). Additionally, there are minor issues with article usage and prepositional phrases. While these errors do not impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent the essay from reaching the 7.0 band. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of infinitive versus gerund forms will help improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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