Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-04
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
Student answer (Band 5.5)
People around the world have different ways of raising a child to flourish and achieve success. In some cultures, children are frequently reminded that they could conquer anything if they try hard enough. This essay examine the advantages and disadvantages of motivating a child in such a way.
The personality of a child is shaped early on in their childhood, due to which mentoring them and paving the right path for them is essential to turn them into a person with great ambitions. Feeding them with the right mindset this early in their life cycle can enable the child to gain confidence before moving to adulthood. Building this confidence is crucial because without it the child is extremely vulnerable and could not be capable of achieving something outstanding. Repeatedly reminding them to try hard enough helps in lifting the bar of self-confidence and boosts the ability of critical thinking in a child.
By contrast, conveying this message may cause the child to remain at ease throughout their life causing them to lose the drive of achieving success early on in their life. This could cause serious issues as the child will not tend to worry anymore.
In conclusion, while motivating the child is for their own betterment each child should be taught based on their own qualities and ability to make decisions. For example, a child with a lower intelligence quotient is more likely to get influenced by this repetitive behavior in a negative way. Not everyone is suited to live with the set standard and follow the same way of motivation.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt, but the development is somewhat uneven. While the advantage of building confidence is clearly stated, the disadvantage section is underdeveloped and lacks specific examples or logical depth. The argument that the message might cause a child to 'remain at ease' is vague and not fully explained. To reach a higher band, you should provide more concrete examples or logical reasoning for the disadvantages, such as the potential for unrealistic expectations or the pressure to succeed leading to burnout. The position is clear, but the overall depth of the argument is limited.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'By contrast' and 'In conclusion', which help the reader follow the progression of ideas. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical, and the connection between sentences within paragraphs could be smoother. For instance, the transition between the introduction and the first body paragraph is functional but could be more sophisticated. Overall, the paragraphing is appropriate, and the logical flow is maintained throughout the response.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'flourish', 'mentoring', and 'vulnerable'. However, there are some instances of slightly unnatural word choices or phrasing, such as 'life cycle' when referring to childhood, or 'lifting the bar of self-confidence'. These do not impede communication, but they prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. To improve, focus on more precise collocations and academic phrasing. The vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning clearly, but it lacks the flexibility and sophistication required for higher bands.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are some grammatical errors, such as 'This essay examine' (subject-verb agreement) and 'could not be capable of achieving' (awkward phrasing). While these errors do not significantly impede communication, they are frequent enough to affect the overall impression. You have attempted complex structures, but they are not always perfectly controlled. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and refining the use of modal verbs to ensure your sentences are both accurate and grammatically sound.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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