Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Many people from almost all the country tend to supply the message of 'nothing is impossible' if you put enough effort and dedication on something. This kinds of message may bring the sense of hard work in an individual. However, in some situation, it may lead to loss of self-belief in youngster.

One of the prominent merits of the it is creation of sense of hardship in youths. If the relatives or a friend offer that type of message positively to the person, he or she could take it as a serious matter in his or her life, which may directly impact on their neurons. In addition, research have shown that, if motivation is given in the right way then the accomplish rate become higher. For instant, if the guardian of a students encourage him in persuasive way showing his ability by praising him might be great motivation to him and he gradually build the hardship in him.

However, sometimes it may cause the serious issues in youths like loss of self-belief. Even the great support from family members and the hard work of the person may not result the hardship. As a result, youngster tend to lose the faith on their own and even they attempt the suicide. For instance, we can notice that the attempt of suicide by the SEE holder students in Nepal due to the unexpected marks in the exam held by the NEB in newspaper every year. To address the problems and save the life of the youths government and their own parents can play the vital role.

In conclusion, tendency of people telling that nothing can be achieved if they put enough effort to that may lead to the hardship in youths, whereas the result sometimes bring the detrimental issues like loss of self faith. This can be minimize with proper guidance by both sates and guardian.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. However, the development of ideas is somewhat inconsistent. The term 'hardship' is used repeatedly to describe the positive outcome of hard work, which is a misuse of the word (hardship actually means suffering or difficulty). This lexical confusion weakens the clarity of your argument. While you provide a relevant example regarding exam results in Nepal, the connection between the initial message and the extreme outcome of suicide is a bit abrupt and could be better bridged with more nuanced explanation. To improve, ensure your key terms are used accurately and that your arguments are fully expanded.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear introduction and conclusion. You use some cohesive devices like 'However', 'In addition', and 'As a result' to link ideas. However, the flow is sometimes hindered by awkward phrasing and repetitive sentence structures. The referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the phrase 'merits of the it', where the pronoun does not clearly refer back to a specific noun. Paragraphing is used appropriately, but the internal progression of ideas within the second paragraph feels slightly disjointed due to the misuse of vocabulary.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but there are significant issues with word choice and collocation. The most prominent error is the repeated use of 'hardship' to mean 'resilience' or 'a strong work ethic'. 'Hardship' carries a negative connotation of suffering, which contradicts your intended meaning. Other inaccuracies include 'accomplish rate' instead of 'achievement rate' and 'sates' instead of 'states'. While you attempt to use some academic vocabulary, the lack of precision in word choice limits your score. Focusing on learning the correct context for words will significantly improve your writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are frequent grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement ('research have shown', 'accomplish rate become'), article usage ('from almost all the country'), and pluralization ('a students'). While these errors are noticeable, they rarely impede the overall meaning of the text. You demonstrate an attempt to use complex sentences, but the control over these structures is inconsistent. To reach a higher band, you should focus on proofreading for basic agreement errors and ensuring that articles and prepositions are used correctly.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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