Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

There is no society in the world which is untouched by the phenomena of motivation to achieve anything. Recent studies indicate that this trend is only likely to accentuate in the comming decades considering the ground realities of the modern world. This essay shall analyse the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message. However, I stand with the notion that its advantages outweigh the disadvantage.

To begin with, children have the potential to excel in any field they wish to and achieve greater heights. This will result in building a more productive society. Moreover there are various key factors behind these achievements such as hardwork, determination & consisteney etc... In order to accomplish their desire, a proper guidance is recommended from parents, teachers and peers. Their small wins should be celebrated with rewards. This will fuel them to move forward and reach the target.

This view has a diachotomy of opinion. Some individuals point out its dearbacks. Children are not capable enough to take opinion of their own. Parents should guide them and restrict on what is right or wrong until they are legal. Over freedom could have a negative impact on them. For instance, children might get addicted to drugs and alchol, excessive phone usage, video games and social fewer social interaction. Many pupils are detached from academics because of the above mentioned reasons. While others stand with the notion that

the art of decision making should be taught from lower age. Hardwork is the plays a significant role for acquiring the target. For instance, it is evident from the society that any famous personality personalities and public figures have earned recognision through their years of hardwork. Hardwork always pays off. Along with hardwork it is always recommended to correlate it with smart work. In this contemporary world, competetion is has booming rapidly.

Considering both sides of argument, it is ever so sensible to register my disagree agreement with the statement that children should be motivated to reach goals through hardwork. Inspite of the intricate tapestry of arguments delicately woven against the notion. Suffice to say that advantages outweigh disadvantages.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the topic, maintaining a clear position throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. While the advantages are touched upon, the discussion of disadvantages is slightly disjointed and relies on generalisations about 'over-freedom' and 'addiction' without fully linking them back to the specific message of 'achieving anything'. The conclusion is also slightly confused, as the phrasing 'register my disagree agreement' creates ambiguity regarding your final stance. To improve, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single, well-developed argument that directly answers the prompt.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the flow between and within them is occasionally mechanical. While cohesive devices like 'To begin with' and 'Moreover' are used, some transitions feel forced or are used incorrectly, such as the abrupt ending of the third paragraph ('While others stand with the notion that'). The referencing is sometimes unclear, and the logical progression is hindered by repetitive phrasing and minor structural errors. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence would significantly enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting some sophisticated terms like 'accentuate', 'diachotomy', and 'intricate tapestry'. However, there are several spelling errors ('comming', 'consisteney', 'dearbacks', 'alchol', 'recognision', 'competetion') and some awkward collocations ('register my disagree agreement'). While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding your main points, they do limit the precision of your writing. Focus on proofreading for common spelling mistakes and ensuring that the words you choose are used in their correct context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical slips, such as 'a proper guidance' (uncountable noun), 'from lower age' (should be 'from a young age'), and 'Hardwork is the plays a significant role' (double verb). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of '&' and '...' which are inappropriate for formal academic writing. While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of these errors suggests that you need to focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct usage of articles to reach a higher band.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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