Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is true that in some culture, some people told to their children's that they can achieve anything if they work very hard. In my opinion, the advantage of this trend outweighs the disadvantages. In this essay, I will discuss both sides and support my view. On one hand, there are some negative points to consider. If the children frequently told that he can achieve whatever he wants if he tried very hard but this is not a complete truth. sometime things are dependent upon natural talent and usually on external factors. If the child fails in getting its goals. He starts thinking that he did not do as much hard work that needs to achieve that. This also make students to think that is not normal. He has deficiency This creates the feeling of inadequacy, feeling of self-blame and even burnout. The students should be told both sides that he has to do work hard but not every time hard work wins. On the other hand, I believe that benefits are much greater than demerits. By telling children this line frequently motivates them that he can do it. This creates confidence and self-determination in them. Children are weak they easily give up if they face difficulty or in hard times by telling them that they can do it by working hard encourages them. This also make them confident and resilient rather than self-doubting. In conclusion, while motivating children that hard work led to success it is crucial to balance this with realistic expectations to protect their mental well-being.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. You clearly state your position in the introduction and maintain it throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the discussion on the negative impact of failure is a bit repetitive and could be strengthened with more specific examples or a deeper exploration of the psychological consequences. While you cover all parts of the task, the arguments lack the depth required for a higher band score. To improve, ensure that each point is fully extended with clear reasoning and illustrative examples.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, each with a distinct focus. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'On one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion' to guide the reader. However, the flow within paragraphs is sometimes hindered by awkward phrasing and repetitive sentence structures. Referencing is occasionally unclear, such as the use of 'he' to refer to 'children' (a plural noun), which creates confusion. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring consistent pronoun-antecedent agreement would significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to communicate your ideas clearly. You use some relevant terms like 'self-determination', 'resilient', and 'inadequacy'. However, there are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'some culture' instead of 'some cultures' and 'demerits' which is not the most natural choice in this context. The range of vocabulary is somewhat limited, and you rely on simple phrasing. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more precise academic collocations and avoid repetitive word choices.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('some people told to their children's'), incorrect article usage, and pronoun inconsistencies ('the children... he can achieve'). While you attempt complex sentences, they are often marred by errors in tense or structure, such as 'If the children frequently told that he can achieve...'. Focusing on basic grammatical accuracy and proofreading for subject-verb agreement will help improve your score.

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