Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In some cultures, children are encouraged to believe that they can achieve anything if they work hard. While this message has several benefits, it also has some drawbacks. This essay will discuss both advantages and disadvantages.

To begin with, one major advantage is that this belief motivates children to work hard. To explain it, they do not give up easily. They work harder. For example, a student who studies everyday can improve his grades. Another benefit is that, it builds self-confidence to gets everything they wants. For instance, children makes future plans. In future, they will consider them into work around professional staffs or runs a business. It encourages children to achieve his goals.

However, this message can also have some negative impacts.To elaborate it, children may feel disappointed if they fail despite working hard. For example, if a child wants to becomes a doctor but his financial background does not meet this expences. So, not everything depend on hardwork. Talent, health and family background also matter. Another example is that, not everyone can become a doctor or a professional athlete because talent and opportunities also matter. In addition, children may work too hard for better future. But only hard work does not work. This may can cause anxiety and pressure. In this belief, children ignores natural ability. Everyone has different strength and also family situation.

In essence, encouraging children to work hard has many benefits because it develops confidence and determination. However, they should also be taught that success depends on other factors such as opportunity and ability.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. The position is clear throughout, and the main ideas are relevant. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the explanation of why children might feel disappointed is a bit repetitive, and the examples provided, such as the student studying or the doctor career path, are somewhat simplistic. To reach a higher band, you should aim to extend your arguments with more nuanced reasoning rather than relying on short, simple sentences. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points, but the overall development remains at a basic level.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'However', and 'In essence' to link your thoughts. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical, and the internal flow within paragraphs is occasionally disrupted by short, choppy sentences. For example, in the second paragraph, the sequence of sentences is quite repetitive. Improving the variety of your linking words and using more complex sentence structures would help the ideas flow more naturally and improve the overall cohesion of the response.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to express your ideas clearly. You use some topic-specific vocabulary like 'self-confidence', 'determination', and 'financial background'. However, there are several instances of word-choice errors and awkward phrasing, such as 'consider them into work around professional staffs' and 'this may can cause'. The range of vocabulary is somewhat limited, and there is a reliance on basic words. To improve, try to incorporate more precise academic collocations and avoid repetitive phrasing to demonstrate a wider range of lexical control.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but the accuracy is inconsistent. There are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement ('children makes', 'child wants to becomes') and article usage. Additionally, some sentences are poorly constructed, such as 'This may can cause anxiety', which contains a modal verb error. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to affect the overall fluency of the text. Focusing on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and refining your use of complex sentence structures will significantly improve your score.

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