Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In some cultures, children are encouraged to believe that they can achieve anything if they work hard. While this message has several benefits, it also has some drawbacks. This essay will discuss both advantages and disadvantages.

To begin with, one major advantage is that this belief motivates children to work hard. To explain it, they do not give up easily. They work harder. For example, a student who studies every day can improve his grades. Another benefit is that, it builds self-confidence to gets everything they wants. For instance, children make future plans. In future, they will consider them into work around professional staff or runs a business. It encourages children to achieve his goals.

However, this message can also have some negative impacts. To elaborate it, children may feel disappointed if they fail despite working hard. For example, if a child wants to becomes a doctor but his financial background does not meet this expences. So, not everything depends on hard work. Talent, health and family background also matter. Another example is that, not everyone can become a doctor or a professional athlete because talent and opportunities also matter. In addition, children may work too hard for better future. But only hard work does not work. This can cause anxiety and pressure. In this belief, children ignore natural ability. Everyone has different strength and also family situation.

In essence, encouraging children to work hard has many benefits because it develops confidence and determination. However, they should also be taught that success depends on other factors such as opportunity and ability.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. The ideas are relevant, such as motivation and confidence as benefits, and the reality of external factors like talent and financial background as drawbacks. However, the development is somewhat repetitive and simplistic. For instance, the explanation of why hard work is not enough could be more nuanced. The position is clear throughout, but the supporting examples are brief and lack depth. To reach a higher band, you should aim to expand on your points with more sophisticated reasoning rather than listing them in short, simple sentences.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, and there is a logical progression of ideas. You use basic cohesive devices like 'To begin with', 'However', and 'In essence' to link your thoughts. However, the internal cohesion within paragraphs is sometimes mechanical. For example, the transition between 'They work harder' and 'For example, a student...' feels disjointed. Additionally, some referencing is unclear, such as 'consider them into work', which makes the flow of ideas slightly awkward. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring smoother transitions between sentences would enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. You rely on common words like 'hard', 'work', and 'good'. While you attempt some topic-specific vocabulary such as 'professional athlete' and 'financial background', there are several word-choice errors, such as 'meet this expences' (should be 'meet these expenses') and 'consider them into work'. There is also a lack of collocations and idiomatic expressions. To improve, focus on using more precise synonyms and ensuring that words are used in their correct grammatical context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. You struggle with subject-verb agreement and pluralization, such as 'children make future plans' followed by 'achieve his goals' (inconsistent pronoun usage) and 'wants to becomes'. There are also issues with article usage and prepositional phrases, such as 'in future' (should be 'in the future') and 'into work around professional staff'. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to lower the score. You should focus on proofreading for basic agreement and tense consistency.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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