Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In some cultures, children are encouraged to believe that they can achieve anything if they work hard. While this message has several benefits, it also has some drawbacks. This essay will discuss both advantages and disadvantages.

To begin with, one major advantage is that this belief motivates children to work hard. To explain it, they do not give up easily. They work harder. For example, a student who studies every day can improve his grades. Another benefit is that, it builds self-confidence to gets everything they wants. For instance, children make future plans. In the future, they will consider them into work around professional staff or run a business. It encourages children to achieve his goals.

However, this message can also have some negative impacts. To elaborate it, children may feel disappointed if they fail despite working hard. For example, if a child wants to becomes a doctor but his financial background does not meet this expences. So, not everything depends on hard work. Talent, health and family background also matter. Another example is that, not everyone can become a doctor or a professional athlete because talent and opportunities also matter. In addition, children may work too hard for a better future. But only hard work does not work. This can cause anxiety and pressure. In this belief, children ignore natural ability. Everyone has different strengths and also family situation.

In essence, encouraging children to work hard has many benefits because it develops confidence and determination. However, they should also be taught that success depends on other factors such as opportunity and ability.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. The position is clear throughout, and the ideas are relevant. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the explanation of why children might feel disappointed is a bit repetitive, and the examples provided (such as the doctor example) are slightly underdeveloped. To reach a higher band, you should aim to expand on your points with more depth and nuance, ensuring that each paragraph provides a comprehensive exploration of the topic rather than just listing points.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, and there is a progression of ideas from the introduction to the conclusion. You use some cohesive devices like 'To begin with', 'However', and 'In essence'. However, some of the transitions are a bit mechanical or repetitive, such as 'To explain it' and 'To elaborate it'. Additionally, the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the sentence 'In this belief, children ignore natural ability', where the connection to the previous argument could be smoother. Improving the variety of linking words would enhance the flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to convey your meaning clearly. You use some topic-specific vocabulary like 'self-confidence', 'determination', and 'financial background'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'consider them into work' and 'meet this expences'. The range of vocabulary is somewhat limited, and there is a reliance on simple, repetitive phrasing. To improve, try to incorporate more precise academic collocations and ensure that word forms are used correctly in context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement ('a child wants to becomes') and article usage. Some sentences are also fragmented or awkward, such as 'Another benefit is that, it builds self-confidence to gets everything they wants.' These errors are noticeable but do not fully impede communication. To improve, focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy, specifically verb endings and pluralization, and try to vary your sentence structure with more complex subordinating clauses.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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