Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The message "In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough" has its pros and cons. If we talk about the advantages, it urges the children to work hard towards their goals, if they have set one to achieve it. It advices them to work hard in life for their aim. This instill in them that without putting the effort or the work they will not succeed. If we look at the disadvantages of this saying, if a child sticks to this idea and works hard and does everything that he could and still cannot achieve the goal, it might lead him to think that working hard is not enough and he might go into depression which can have negative impact on his life and other close to him. When advising something like this, we also have to be careful to tell the child to be in touch of the reality of the world we live in because this world is not a fair world and achieving something does not have a linear path. Some people have an advantage over us because they have more connection and networks due to which they might be able to achieve more than we can just with hard work. To conclude, yes, you can achieve a lot by working hard towards your goal but that is not always the case and so you should not let yourself down by thinking that it is the end of the world for you because you could not do it. There is always something else out there for you.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention the benefit of motivation and the risk of depression, these points are not fully extended with specific examples or deeper analysis. The structure is also problematic; the entire essay is presented as a single paragraph, which hinders the clear presentation of a position. To improve, ensure you dedicate separate paragraphs to the advantages and disadvantages, and provide more detailed explanations for each point to demonstrate a more thorough exploration of the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay lacks paragraphing, which is a significant issue for coherence. A formal essay should be divided into an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. While there is a logical flow of ideas—moving from the benefits to the drawbacks and then to a conclusion—the lack of clear paragraph breaks makes the text feel like a continuous block. Additionally, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat repetitive (e.g., 'If we talk about', 'If we look at'). Using a wider variety of linking words and phrases, such as 'Furthermore', 'Conversely', or 'Consequently', would improve the logical progression and readability of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to express your ideas clearly. However, the range is somewhat limited and relies on basic phrasing. For instance, 'do everything that he could' and 'not a fair world' are functional but lack the precision and sophistication expected at higher bands. There are also minor collocation issues, such as 'advices them' (advice is a noun; the verb is 'advise'). To reach a higher band, aim to incorporate more academic vocabulary and precise collocations that demonstrate a broader command of the English language.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors, such as 'This instill in them' (should be 'instills') and 'be in touch of the reality' (should be 'be in touch with'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly regarding comma usage in long, run-on sentences. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of prepositions. Additionally, try to vary your sentence structure by using more complex clauses to demonstrate greater control over grammatical forms.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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