Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Some civilizations believe and speak to their children about if they try hard enough they can achieve anything. This opinion has some advantages like, children can be more hardworking and they will be more persuasive in life. However like every argument there are two sides and related to this topic there are some disadvantages too. For instance children can become more obsessive about their achievements.

Two main advantages about this topic is that children can become more dependent on themselves and they will become more hardworking. For example, If a child wants to be a doctor in the future, they can think to themselves about trying and studying hard enough for the exams to turn out well and this idea will be a great motivation for a kid to achieve what is in their mind. In addition to that, infants will be more persuasive in life about their achievements since they will know all they have to do is try hard enough about their goals in life.

On the other hand, there are some disadvantages regarding this opinion. Children can misinterpret this speech about trying hard enough and they can be obsessed about one specific goal. For example, the same child who wants to be a doctor in the future, took the test and failed. This bad result can lead this children to become obsessed with the same test or with the thought of being a doctor. Due to the belief of trying hard enough, children can think that they are not trying hard and feel incompetent. These negative emotions and thoughts are very hazardous to one’s both mental and physical health.

In summary, regarding this topic, advantages can be listed as, children can start to be more hardworking and more dependent on themselves regarding their studies and ambitions. Also they can become more pursuer about their future goals. Conversely this opinion also can led children to become more obsessive about their thought and wants, they might feel incompetent and weak if they face negative results.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. The position is clear throughout, and the main ideas are relevant. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the discussion on 'persuasiveness' is slightly vague and could have been better linked to the core concept of resilience or goal-setting. While the arguments are logical, they lack the depth required for a higher band score. The essay covers all parts of the task, but the supporting examples, such as the child wanting to be a doctor, are repetitive and could be more varied to demonstrate a more nuanced understanding of the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the advantages and disadvantages. Cohesive devices are present, such as 'In addition to that', 'On the other hand', and 'Conversely', which help guide the reader. However, some transitions feel a bit mechanical or repetitive. The referencing is generally clear, though some sentences are slightly disjointed. Overall, the progression of ideas is coherent, but the flow could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring that the relationship between sentences is more fluid.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing the student to express their ideas clearly. There are some attempts at less common vocabulary, such as 'incompetent' and 'hazardous', which are used correctly. However, there are instances of word-choice errors and awkward phrasing, such as 'infants will be more persuasive' (infants are too young for this context) and 'more pursuer' (which is grammatically incorrect). The range is sufficient to communicate the message, but it lacks the precision and flexibility required for a higher band. Improving collocations and avoiding repetitive phrasing would significantly enhance the lexical quality.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The student uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as 'this children' (should be 'these children'), 'led children' (should be 'lead'), and 'about their thought and wants' (awkward phrasing). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are some missing commas in complex sentences. The errors do not impede communication, but they are noticeable and occur with enough frequency to prevent a higher score. To improve, the student should focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of plural forms.

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