Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In many societies, It is a common thing to told children that very thing is achievable if they try hard to obtain it. This message can have various types of benefits and drawbacks on children.

Firstly, children feel motivated so it encourages them to try new ideas which lead to new discoveries and innovations.

When children are encouraged they feel confident and work hard to achieve their goals. They feel inspired with the motivation and become realistic and find paths toward their destination. For instance, children who are motivated and encouraged by parents are usually more successful than others. Secondly, Children are more persistent toward their aim when they are being told that they can achieve everything they want. They suffer many hardship during their journey but never give up on their dreams.

There are also few drawbacks to tell children they can obtain anything in the world if they will try. Sometimes, children become optimistic after listening to it. However it creates different problems for them in practical life. When they can achieve their goal after enough hard work they become frustrated and agitated. When it is seemed that everything is possible children chase unnecessary things which could be dangerous for them. Often children become arrogant and over confident when they listen that everything is in approach.

It is concluded that it necessary to motivate your children to achieve their goals. Since told them to be patience and do not be hopeless when they cannot succeed despite hardworking and consistency.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention motivation and persistence as advantages, and frustration and arrogance as disadvantages, the explanations are brief and lack depth. For instance, the point about children chasing 'unnecessary things' is vague and could be better supported with a concrete example. To reach a higher band, ensure that each point is fully extended with clear reasoning or illustrative examples. The position is clear throughout, but the conclusion could be more robust by synthesising the main points rather than just offering advice.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. You use basic cohesive devices like 'Firstly', 'Secondly', and 'However' to signal transitions. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the sentence 'When it is seemed that everything is possible children chase unnecessary things'. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that pronouns clearly refer to their antecedents would enhance the overall coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. You rely on common words like 'good', 'hard', and 'things'. There are also some errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'It is a common thing to told children' (should be 'to tell') and 'they suffer many hardship' (should be 'hardships'). To improve, try to incorporate more academic vocabulary and ensure that your word forms are accurate. Focus on using collocations correctly to express your ideas more naturally.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'very thing is achievable' (should be 'everything'), 'It is concluded that it necessary' (missing 'is'), and 'Since told them to be patience' (should be 'Since telling them to be patient'). These errors in subject-verb agreement, word form, and sentence construction are noticeable. To improve, focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy and practice using more complex sentence structures with greater precision.

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