Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In recent years,children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough has become increasingly prevalent.While this development offers several significant advantages,it also presents certain drawbacks that cannot be overlooked.This essay will discuss both the benefits and drawbacks of giving children this message.

One of the primary advantages of giving children this message it can mativate them to work more harder.This is because children may believe that their efforts can help them to achieve goals,which enables them to become more confident and determined.For instance,A student who believe that hard work can lead to good grades may study regularly and improve their academic perfomance.Another notable benefit of this is it can teach students to not give up easily.Consequently,they may become feel more stressful when facing problems,making this message is highly benefical for their development.

Depsite these advantages,there are also several drawbacks to consider,One significant disadvantage is that children may develop unrealistic success.This can lead to disappointment and stress particularly when they work hard but they still fail to achieve their goals.Moreover,factors such as natural ability,financial suppport ans opportunities can also affect success,which may result in children blaming themslves for their failure.As a consequence this message can have negative effects on children that can create problem on mental health and self-confidence.

In conclusion,although telling children that they can achieve anything through hard word offers clear benefits,it also involves certain disadvantages like that children may develop unrealistic sucess.Therefore,it is important to carefully evaluate both aspects fully adopting this trend.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. The position is clear throughout, and the main ideas are relevant. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For example, the point about 'unrealistic success' is a strong argument, but it could have been expanded with more depth or a concrete example to reach a higher band. The introduction is slightly awkward in its phrasing, as it attempts to integrate the prompt directly into the sentence structure, which impacts the clarity of the opening statement. Overall, the response covers all parts of the task sufficiently.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the argument. There is a logical progression from the introduction to the advantages, then the disadvantages, and finally the conclusion. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly repetitive (e.g., 'Another notable benefit', 'One significant disadvantage'). Additionally, there are some minor issues with punctuation and spacing, such as missing spaces after commas (e.g., 'years,children', 'advantages,it'), which disrupts the flow of the text. Improving the variety of linking words would enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express ideas clearly. There are some attempts at using more specific vocabulary, such as 'prevalent' and 'beneficial'. However, there are several instances of word-choice errors and spelling mistakes, such as 'mativate' instead of 'motivate', 'perfomance' instead of 'performance', and 'ans' instead of 'and'. The phrase 'become feel more stressful' is also grammatically incorrect and lexically imprecise. To improve, the student should focus on accurate spelling and more natural collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Examples include 'work more harder' (double comparative), 'A student who believe' (subject-verb agreement), and 'making this message is highly benefical' (incorrect clause structure). There are also issues with missing articles and incorrect word forms, such as 'unrealistic success' (should be 'unrealistic expectations of success'). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score.

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