Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In modern era, youngster always told that they can achieve anything if they can work hard. This essay will discuss the pros and cons of this message.

To begin with, there are several benefits. Firstly, children believe that if they give enough time and effort, they can achieve their goals. Becoming a successful person requires time, consistency, and confidence. They can achieve success more easily. In addition, children become more focus on their goals and develop a positive attitudes. For example, many school children work hard and become successful in their adult life. This message also helps them stay motivated and confident, which is helpful for their future success and overall personal growth.

On the other hand, the negative impact on children. Children may believe that they can achieve everything, which is not always true. Not all children have same abilities and skills. If children cannot reach their goals so they can face challenges on society, they may feel demotivate and sad when they fail. This can create more pressure on them. Also, they can lose confidence. It is important to understand that success also depends on other factors such as talent, skills and support from others. For instance, some students work very hard, but they still fail in exams, which makes them feel sad and lose confidence.

In conclusion, Becoming a success person and achieve their goals need time, efforts as well as skills, talent and opportunities, so they may reach their desire destination. However, not always person have this kind of ability to achieve their goals some need talent, skills, and consistency to become a successful person.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. The position is clear, and the main ideas are relevant. However, the development is somewhat limited; for instance, the explanation of why children might feel demotivated is a bit repetitive. The conclusion is slightly disjointed and does not fully synthesize the arguments presented in the body paragraphs. To reach a higher band, you should aim to provide more nuanced examples and ensure the conclusion provides a more cohesive summary of your main points rather than introducing new phrasing that feels slightly disconnected from the previous arguments.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'Firstly', 'In addition', and 'On the other hand' to signal transitions. However, the use of these devices is somewhat mechanical, and there are instances where the flow between sentences is slightly abrupt. For example, the transition between the benefits and the drawbacks could be smoother. Additionally, the final paragraph lacks a strong concluding statement that ties the essay together effectively, making the overall structure feel slightly unfinished.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing you to convey your meaning clearly. You use some topic-specific terms like 'consistency', 'confidence', and 'personal growth'. However, the range is somewhat limited, and there are some inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'youngster always told' (should be 'youngsters are always told') and 'reach their desire destination' (should be 'desired destination'). There is also some repetition of basic words like 'successful' and 'goals'. To improve, try to incorporate more varied synonyms and collocations to demonstrate a wider range of vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement and article usage, such as 'youngster always told' instead of 'youngsters are always told' and 'on society' instead of 'in society'. There are also issues with sentence fragments and awkward phrasing, such as 'On the other hand, the negative impact on children.' These errors are noticeable but do not significantly impede communication. To achieve a higher score, focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy and increasing the variety of complex sentence structures.

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