Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-10
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
Student answer (Band 5.5)
It is true that in many society's guardians told their childrens that they can achieve everything by doing hard work. While there are some drawbacks of this trend, I believe the metirs outweigh the demerits.
There are a number of reasons why hard work can generate opportunity for children to complete their own goal. One of the major reason is if children is motivated for doing hard works they could enhance their own capability power and reach their dream destination quite easily. This massage also help children to achieve his own goal and also boost self confidence of children. Another reason is that while children continue to doing works regularly, It can improve their brain capability and prepare for touch high. By doing hard work their skill might be sharper day by day which help them to shine in future.
Despite the benefits mentioned above, There are some drawback also. In human life, Doing hard work is much more difficult because it comes with stress,anxiety and many other problems. If the result of hard work result is satisfying then the life of children are enjoyable but if they failed to achieve his goal it might be painful. The age of childrens are not enough that than can consume all those painful failures.society told childrens hard work is the key of success, But when the children realise the truth that sometimes hard work also fails to achieve dream it might be painful because children don't khow the truth before.
In conclusion, Although there are some negative outcomes of this wrong massage, I would argue that it has more benifits that improve children future.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited and repetitive. For instance, the discussion on advantages focuses almost exclusively on 'hard work' without exploring broader psychological or societal impacts. The disadvantages section touches on stress and failure, but the explanation is slightly underdeveloped and lacks specific examples. The position is clear throughout, but the arguments could be more nuanced to reach a higher band. The essay meets the requirements of the task, but the depth of analysis is consistent with a mid-range performance.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the argument. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and repetitive (e.g., 'Another reason is that', 'One of the major reason is'). There are also issues with referencing; for example, the transition between the benefits and drawbacks is abrupt. While the progression of ideas is generally clear, the lack of sophisticated linking words and the occasional awkward phrasing make the flow feel somewhat disjointed. Paragraphing is present but could be more effectively utilized to separate distinct ideas.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. There are several instances of word-choice errors and non-standard collocations, such as 'capability power', 'touch high', and 'wrong massage' (likely intended as 'message'). Spelling errors are also frequent, such as 'society's' (plural needed), 'metirs', 'benifits', and 'khow'. These errors do not necessarily impede communication, but they demonstrate a limited control over lexical features. To improve, you should focus on learning more precise academic vocabulary and proofreading for common spelling mistakes.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there is a high frequency of grammatical errors. Subject-verb agreement is often incorrect (e.g., 'guardians told their childrens', 'children is motivated', 'the life of children are enjoyable'). There are also issues with pluralization ('childrens') and article usage. While the meaning is generally clear, the persistent grammatical inaccuracies are noticeable and distract from the quality of the writing. A greater focus on basic sentence construction and proofreading for subject-verb agreement would significantly improve the accuracy of your work.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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