Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In many societies, parents convey a message to their children's that they can achieve anything in life, if they work hard for it. However, more pressure on children's leads to several health and mental issues. In the subsequent paragraphs, I will discuss advantages and disadvantages of this approach.

To begin with, this practice makes youngsters more disciplined and focused. Supporting and pushing nature of parents allows their children's to grow effectively in every life prospect and make wisely decisions. For instance, parents who work hard throughout their lives and achieve success in their business can influence their children to adopt the same attitude and work ethic. In addition to this, a positive will they receive from their parents help them to achieve difficult tasks even after several failures. Therefore, working hard is the key to staying focused, disciplined, and motivated in life.

Conversely, putting too much pressure can lead to certain health issues and a person can become demotivated. Sometimes, children's are not able to achieve grades as per their guardian's expectations which cause stress and anxiety. For example, children's surrounded by their younger siblings have to face criticism from their relatives, neighbor's or even from their own parents if they are unable to score well as their younger siblings. There this kind of comparison culture also play pivotal role in children's lives. As a result, putting too much pressure or expectations negatively affecting their confidence, motivation, and overall well-being.

In conclusion, working hard play an important role in children's life as they become more focused, disciplined, and motivated which help them to reach heights in their upcoming life. However, putting more pressure and comparison culture negatively affecting their confidence, motivation, and overall well-being. Therefore, if both things managed properly it would benefit youngsters to grow in life and maintain a positive life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. The position is clear throughout, and the main ideas—discipline and motivation as advantages, and stress and anxiety as disadvantages—are relevant. However, the development is somewhat limited. While the points are introduced, they lack deep exploration; for instance, the example regarding 'younger siblings' is slightly confusing and does not fully illustrate the broader societal issue of comparison. To reach a higher band, you should aim to provide more nuanced explanations of how this message impacts a child's long-term psychological development rather than just listing general outcomes. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and provides a balanced final thought.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'In addition to this', 'Conversely', and 'In conclusion' are used to signal the progression of ideas. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical, and there are instances where the flow is slightly disrupted by awkward phrasing or repetitive sentence structures. Referencing is generally clear, though the overuse of the possessive 'children's' (e.g., 'children's lives') occasionally makes the text feel repetitive. Overall, the progression of ideas is coherent, and the paragraphing is appropriate for the task.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing for clear communication of ideas. You use some topic-specific vocabulary such as 'disciplined', 'motivated', 'anxiety', and 'pivotal role'. However, there are several instances of incorrect word forms and collocations, such as 'every life prospect' (should be 'aspects of life') and 'positive will' (which is unclear). Additionally, there is a persistent error with the pluralization of 'children's' (the possessive form is used incorrectly as a plural). To improve, focus on using more precise collocations and ensure you are using the correct plural forms of nouns to demonstrate a more sophisticated range.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors that detract from the quality of the writing. These include subject-verb agreement issues (e.g., 'working hard play an important role', 'comparison culture also play'), incorrect use of articles, and persistent misuse of the possessive apostrophe (e.g., 'children's', 'neighbor's'). While these errors do not impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. To improve, you should focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy, specifically regarding pluralization and subject-verb agreement, and attempt to vary your sentence structures with more complex clauses.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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