Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In many societies, parents convey a message to their children that they can achieve anything in life, if they work hard for it. However, it may also create unrealistic expectations and excessive pressure on children's leads to several health and mental issues. In the subsequent paragraphs, I will discuss pros and cons of this approach.

One major advantage of encouraging children to believe in the value of hard work is that it can make them more disciplined and focused. The supporting and pushing nature of parents allows their children to grow effectively in every life aspect and make wise decisions. For instance, parents who work hard throughout their lives and achieve success in their business can influence their children to adopt the same attitude and work ethic. In addition to this, a positive encouragement they receive from their parents help them to achieve difficult tasks even after several failures. Therefore, working hard is the key to staying focused, disciplined, and motivated in life.

Conversely, putting too much pressure can lead to certain health issues and a person can become demotivated. Sometimes, children's are not able to achieve grades as per their guardian's expectations which cause stress and anxiety. For example, children's surrounded by their younger siblings have to face criticism from their relatives, neighbor's or even from their own parents if they are unable to score well as their younger siblings. As a result, putting too much pressure or expectations negatively affecting their confidence, motivation, and overall well-being. Moreover, telling children that they can achieve anything through hard work can also create unrealistic expectations. Effort is important, but it does not always guarantee success because outcomes can also depend on factors such as ability, circumstances and available opportunities. If children repeatedly fail despite making considerable efforts, they may believe that they have not worked hard enough and begin to blame themselves. This can result in stress, anxiety and a loss of confidence.

In conclusion, encouraging children to work hard can help them become disciplined and motivated. Nevertheless, presenting hard work as a guarantee of success may lead to unrealistic expectations and psychological pressure when children experience failure. Parents should teach their children that failure is a normal part of learning and that success depends om more than effort alone.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, providing a clear discussion of both the advantages and disadvantages of the message that hard work guarantees success. The position is consistent throughout the essay. The ideas are well-developed, particularly the argument regarding the psychological impact of unrealistic expectations and the nuance that success is often dependent on external factors beyond effort. The essay is well-structured, and the conclusion effectively synthesizes the main points. To reach a higher band, the student could further elaborate on the 'advantages' section with more specific examples, as the current focus leans slightly more heavily toward the disadvantages.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay demonstrates a clear logical progression. Each paragraph has a central theme, and the transition between the advantages and disadvantages is handled smoothly with the use of the cohesive device 'Conversely'. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. While the use of cohesive devices is generally effective, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, such as 'In addition to this' and 'Moreover'. The referencing is generally clear, though there are minor instances where the flow could be improved by varying the sentence structure to better connect ideas within paragraphs.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The student uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey ideas with precision, such as 'unrealistic expectations', 'demotivated', and 'well-being'. There is an attempt to use less common items, which is generally successful. However, there are some minor inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'children's leads to' (should be 'children leads to') and 'children's surrounded by' (should be 'children surrounded by'). These errors do not impede communication but prevent the response from reaching the higher bands where more sophisticated and error-free control is expected.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There is good control over complex sentences, such as 'If children repeatedly fail despite making considerable efforts, they may believe that they have not worked hard enough'. However, there are frequent minor errors, particularly with apostrophes and pluralization, such as 'children's leads', 'neighbor's', and 'om' (typo for 'on'). While these errors are noticeable, they do not impede the reader's understanding. To improve, the student should focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy and punctuation, as these small slips occur throughout the text.

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