Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In many communities, children are encouraged to do more hard work to fulfill desire and reach their goal. This massage can have several positive effects although, it can create some unrealistic expectations. This essay will shade lights on both plots.

One of the major benefit is that it motivates children to work harder. When young people believe that their efforts can lead to success, they are more likely to work determine whenever they face difficulties. This can help them to develop abilities such as self- confidence, patience and perseverance. for instance, a student who struggle with mathematics may continue practising instead of giving up if they believe that consistent efforts will improve their performance. moreover, this mindset can encourage children to take responsibility for their own progress and make them more confident to tackle any types of situations.

However, there are also some drawbackes to giving children this massage. the main problem is that it may give them unrealistic expectations about success. In reality, achievement depends not only on efforts but also on factors such as opportunities, circumstances and individual abilities. Therefore, children who work extremely hard but still fail to reach their goals may feel disappointed or blame themselves. In addition, they may develop the belief that failure always means they have not worked hard enough.

In conclusion, telling children that hard work can help them achieve their goals can make them more motivated and persistent. However, they should also be taught that effort is important but it does not guarantee success, as other factors can influence the final result.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, identifying both advantages and disadvantages of the message given to children. The position is clear throughout, and the main ideas are supported with relevant examples, such as the student struggling with mathematics. The development is logical, though the analysis could be slightly more nuanced to reach a higher band. For instance, the discussion on 'unrealistic expectations' is well-articulated, but could benefit from a deeper exploration of the long-term psychological impact. Overall, the response is well-focused and fully meets the requirements of the task.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used effectively to separate the advantages from the disadvantages. Cohesive devices such as 'One of the major benefit', 'Moreover', and 'In conclusion' are used to guide the reader through the argument. However, there are some minor mechanical issues with cohesion, such as the slightly awkward phrasing 'This essay will shade lights on both plots', which is a non-standard collocation. Despite these minor issues, the progression of ideas is clear and easy to follow throughout the text.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing for clear communication. There are some attempts at less common vocabulary, such as 'perseverance' and 'unrealistic expectations'. However, there are several instances of word-choice errors and non-standard collocations, such as 'shade lights on both plots' (should be 'shed light on both sides') and 'work determine' (should be 'work determinedly' or 'work hard'). Spelling errors like 'drawbackes' and 'massage' (instead of 'message') occur, though they do not impede overall understanding. A wider range of precise vocabulary would elevate the score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is consistently clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement and word forms, such as 'a student who struggle' (should be 'struggles') and 'one of the major benefit' (should be 'benefits'). Punctuation is generally functional, though there are some issues with capitalization at the start of sentences. The control of grammar is sufficient to communicate ideas, but the frequency of errors prevents the response from reaching a higher band, as the majority of sentences are not error-free.

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